


SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: LINUS STRIKES BACK

by SkyHighDreamer



Series: SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: THE SPY WARS [2]
Category: Spy Kids (Movies), The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005)
Genre: Censorship, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Multi, Rebellion, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyHighDreamer/pseuds/SkyHighDreamer
Summary: As the battle of O.S.S and A.S.S continues raging on a battle of BIBLICAL porportions is coming: needless to say tho will the heros be able to stop the tides of evil, or will Lord minuses evil plan spell the end for them all? Find out by reading.
Series: SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: THE SPY WARS [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003620
Comments: 62
Kudos: 10





	1. DR ROMEROS AWAKENING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my sequel story :) so 1st things 1st if you just got here and think you can start here YOU CAN'T: it is just that simple. Needless to say what happened in the prev story is really really important and to walts into this like its gonna make sense other wise is a real stupid move indeed. So please, do not do the stupid moves, instead do the smart move by reading my 1st story SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: A DREAMS RECKONING and if you have read it already then WELCOME BACK cause we are glad to have you! :)
> 
> Soooo we are still waiting on election results. However since Georgia and Pensilvania both turned blue Shu and her family decides to have the ELECTION RESULTS PARTY early. After all its not like some thing could happen that would make Trump re elected: THAT WOULD BE CRAZY. So lots of fun is being had at the party: swimming in the INDOOR POOL, playing BILLARDS and J CHILLIN. Needless to say that cookie cake we had was HITTING DIFFERENT and I had myself at least 4 slices. We all are having fun: me, Hanna, Lucas (he actually came!) Gilby, Shu and even my big bro Leigh leigh. He said he needs to come along to make sure every 1 behaves: sure weirdo just do not act too weird haha! >:) 
> 
> Funny enough its not even Leighton who embarasses me, Gilby let it slip his parents voted Liberterian this election and the look on Shus parents faces was PRICELESS!
> 
> As always ENJOY THE CHAP CHAP :)

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 1:00 AM  
SETTING: SOME ISLAND NEAR MADGASCAR

Its the dead of night but even so theres nothing quiet about this place: hootin and hollering in the woods are BEASTS of many shapes and sizes just like at school but they are all animals instead. Needless to say if you could of seen it YOU WOULD OF BEEN AMAZED: pigs with wings flap n fly, monkies with spider legs shout like my parents (when they still lived at home with me lol) and most amazing of all is the KITTY HAWK. So as you can tell by the name its a big a** bird with a cat head. Also its a reference to the Wright bros cause this islands kooky master uses it as his personel jet: FANCY.

DR ROMERO: Ok Whiskers I think were on to something big here.

So they stand in the middle of the dark island on a big hill: in the hill is a HOLE, but not just any HOLE mind you but a right proper MINE ENTRENCE. Needless to say it went straight down: misterious but where does it go. Well HOLD YOUR HORSES as soon enough Dr romero desends into the pit and climbs down for almost 5 MINUTES before reaching the bottom. Now I know what your thinking but DON'T PANIC, this isnt another under ground CARTELL base but instead a huge f**king MINE. Now Dr romero gets right to work: he loves the animals of his island but he always knew the REAL reason he buys this island.

DR ROMERO: Its gotta be nearby

So mineing all around he finds all sorts of things: IRON, GOLD and DIMOND: all useless to him he wants something even better then this. And before too long hes found it: JACKPOT. Gasping as he reaches into his pocket Dr romero produces his POCKET BIBLE and reads the story of Cain and abel. Yes this has got to be it: the thing he's been looking for all along.

DR ROMERO: SCORE!

So what did Dr romero find here, needless to say its not a CHONKER but instead a strange wood staff sticking from the rock: where the f*** did this come from. Now grabbing the shaft Dr romero GETS TUGGIN: he is basically death gripping it and as such its over in a few seconds. Now pulling it out he looks and admires his work. Could it really be: yes IT IS. The long lost tool of the founder of the O.S.S and the anti thesis to the DAGGER OF CAIN: its the CANE OF ABEL a tool for good instead of evil

DR ROMERO: (snickers) thats a f**kton of AMAZON CREDIT right there!

Needless to say this is a huge dicsovery, Jeff bezos will be sure to give him plenty of GIFT CARD cash for this find. Then the various arceologists who grauduate from UNIVERSITY OF PHEONIX ONLINE will get to right best selling books about it promoting Dr romeros island in the process. Wow this place will be a TOURIST PARADISE soon, its gonna be ON FIRE.

DR ROMERO: Holy sh*t I gotta show Whiskers

So climbing up the ladder for 6 MINUTES (going up takes longer) Dr romero emerges at the serface: however WHISKERS the KITTY HAWK is not happy and needless to say none of his animal buddy's are either. The winged pigs snort and squeal, the spider monkies are going ape sh*t and I mean it LITERALLY: their tossing sh*t every where some even splating on Romeroes face: IF THAT HAD BEEN ME THOSE MONKIES WOULD BE F****NG TOAST. But Romero too much of a p*ssy to defend him self can only force a smile and lick it off: f***ing GROSS bro.

DR ROMERO: Now now: what's all the ruckus.

The animals dont say anything cause animals can't talk

DR ROMERO: Huh wait what is that

Needless to say after cleaning the sh*t off his glasses he sees it better now: 4 STRANGE FIGURES in ROBES pushing a cart up a hill. So now looking close he sees what is in the cart: a HUGE A** BOMB which is surely ready to blow. Dr romero gulping like the cowerd he is knows that hes in a world of sh*t now and worst of all he can't just lick THIS sort of sh*t off his face. Now as the strangers get to the top of the hill Dr romero stares them down and shouts

DR ROMERO: Who goes there!

Needless to say they lower theyre hoods: revealing faces so g****mn ugly that Dr romero drops a duce in his pants right then and there. Wow, they have SCALY FACES, DEMON FANGS, and EYES REDDER THEN THE PITS OF H*LL. Then whipping out pencels 1 by 1 the monsters stab Dr romero in the gut: now he has lead poisening.

STRANGER: You found the lost relic, now hand it to me: this bombs going off like Na-ga-sa-kee!

After hearing such ryming Dr romero knows exactly who hes faced with: sure enough they whip the hoods down revealing a bunch of undead body's. LORD MINUSES new slaves revived by the DAGGER OF CAIN lined up 1 by 1: STEPHEN KING, JK ROLLING, STEPHANIE MYER and their leader DR SUESS. Dr romero with a scream whips forward the CANE OF ABEL and blows a load of HOLY LIGHT all over: however the demons swallow it with darkness and STRIKE BACK quick. Now beating the old doc with auto graphed copy's of THE STAND UNABRIDGED he can barely cling on: I mean that books like 1100 PAGES.

DR SUESS: This isnt NEW HUAREZ so theres no need for m*th: my DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY shall beat you to death!

Wow these demon authors may not be WIZARDS or VAMPIRES like they write about but theyre JUST AS DEADLY. So on Dr romeroes head the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY keeps whaling like its Moby d*ck and soon enough Dr romero is too bent outta shape to move. Needless to say all the animals of the island watch in horror as SPILLED BLOOD and GORE drips from theyre masters ears, then cackling like the F*CKHEADS they are the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY warps away with the CANE OF ABEL in their nasty demon hands, trim your nails you gross f*ckers. D*mn it would of been nice to have that cane now that Dr romero is crippled beyond comprehend, also speaking of ABEL it seems the island wont be ABEL to last much longer as the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY'S nuclear bomb is beeping like my fathers hospitial machine: UH OH.

DR ROMERO: I gotta save the animals

But seems like thats not gonna happen: Dr romero needs to shave a few seconds off his escape time. Now as WHISKERS the KITTY HAWK swoops up the doc all the animals left behind stare at the bomb in unbeleaving. Needless to say these dumb creatures do not regocnize concept of death: 2 seconds later they do not regocnize HOT SHARDS OF PLUTONIUM blasting them in the face. FLYING PIGS eating apples quickly turn to P*T ROASTS, SPIDER MONKIES sh*t web every where as the wall of fire eats them alive, and well needless to say the whole d*mn place is TOAST. Needless to say this wont be a TOURIST PARADISE any time soon but at least Dr romero gets his wish of it being ON FIRE.

Now flying away on WHISKERS the weeping Dr romero looks at his burning home.

DR ROMERO: Do you think G*d stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what hes created.

The animals dont say anything cause theyve all been redused to NUCLEAR ASH except for WHISKERS who still can not talk. Now Dr romero feels his wimpy side going away, with a clenched fist all he is thinking about now is STRIKING BACK: but 1st things 1st he's gonna head to the O.S.S where some old friends will surely be able to help...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [11.6.2020 | PRINCIPAL FILMOGRAPHY JOURNAL]  
> ====================================
> 
> Greetings, everyone, and welcome back to Leighton's Corner! I have some good news to share, and it's that I've continued production of "The Truth in the Darkness: The Cost of the Silencer." Hobo Joe, Rupert the Cat, and I returned to the abandoned high school to film some new scenes, including one where the protagonist gets an egg or two hurled at him as a form of vicious mockery. Poor Hobo Joe seemed quite uncomfortable with throwing the eggs at me, but I assured him it was fine. After all, I had purchased the cheapest dozen of eggs possible, so we were able to try the shot several times before we ran out of ammunition.
> 
> Afterwards, Hobo Joe and I kicked back in some auditorium seats and talked like we usually do. Today, however, he opened up to me a bit more than he had before. He said that he felt uncomfortable accepting my invitations to sleep at the house because it made him feel like a "free-loader". He said that he'd wanted to become a movie star, too, before reality hit him like a ton of bricks and left him homeless. Then, he told me that me, Skyler, and Rupert were the only friends he had left.
> 
> The camera was rolling the whole time, so those stories are preserved in film now. Needless to say, though, as much as I valued those words from Hobo Joe, I haven't exactly been talking about it here at the party. Wouldn't want to dampen the mood. Hopefully I didn't dampen yours, either. For now, though, hasta la vista.


	2. MORE THEN JUST A GAME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all :) so for a change of pace today I go over to GILBYS house: he invited me over to hang out chill and play TF2 so I kindly accept. However we were not too far into our 2fort sesh when Gilbies parents come to show me something cool. So basically Gilbies dad is a nerd type who plays consoles with BOOMER GAMES: needless to say he challeges me and Gilby to MARIO KART 64 but we all lose cause we haven't been playing that game since the f***ing 80s xD Then after that we eat all sorts of yummy food: DORITOS, PIZZA ROLLS and even PAPA JOHNS. Yum yum, 1 of my favorites :) and best part is it was with extra extra meat which makes me extra extra happy!
> 
> While eating PAPA JOHNS Gilby tells the story again about how Papa john shnatter said the N word to his employees and got fired cause of it. So remembering that Shu told me JOE BIDEN will end racism I ask if this means that Papa john can never say that horrible word again. Needless to say I forgot that Gilbys parents are Liberterian and they quickly explain to me that even tho people are happy that Trump is gone that BOTH SIDES ARE BAD. Instead they vote for some lady named Jo georgeson which got me thinking isn't that more femanist then Joe biden is? Needless to say Shu has alot of question to answer, I hope she has not been "brain washed by liberal media" as Gilbys parents put it.
> 
> Anyway enjoy the chap chap :)

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 11:00 AM  
SETTING: CITY STREETS

So waltsing thru the city streets that day were all sorts of people: kids, boys and girl riding on theyre bikes and scooters and other things. Also along them is a FAT MAN stuffed in a suit thats clearly 2 sizes too small: if he stops sucking it in for even 1 SECOND those buttons are gonna launch like nukes. Speaking of nukes the neighbor hood lisening to the radio hears that Dr romeroes LOST ISLAND OF DREAMS got nuked last night: d*mn that sucks but at least the good ol soil in the UNITED STATES didn't get scorched. And that's whats good about America: it's the LAND OF THE FREE where Republicans and democrats duke it out but at the end of the day alot of people think that BOTH SIDES ARE BAD. Also the man in the suit is eating a chicken bisky: YUM. Needless to say it's JUNY CORTES who saves the world with heroism not once not twice but THRICE as seen in the SPY KIDS movies. What the f*** is he up to this time, keep reading to find out.

JUNY: (getting crumbs all over his suit) Oh golly: I sure hope the TOYMAKER signs this buseness deal!

Ah yes the TOYMAKER, he was JUNIES GRANDPAS best friend until the old man keeled over in my last story any way. It was JUNIES GRANDPA who convences him to stop being a bad guy and to stop sucking kids into video games: now done with the villian life the TOYMAKER retires to a old folks gated community where he lives next door to the old and crusty FLOOP and all his crazy f***ed up looking FOOGLY'S. Wow, Juny can tell he is getting close already: all sorts of genetic night mares running around in Floops back yard such as WALKING THUMBS and FAT CREATURES WITH PASTELL COLOR FACES. Needless to say if Dr romeroes island got nuked then THIS PLACE NEEDS A GOOD BOMBING AS WELL. Well actually based on all the deformed sh*t here THERE MIGHT OF BEEN A NUKE HERE ALREADY.

JUNY: (mouth gaping, bisky chunk falls out)

So Juny keeps yukking it up not realising he'd fit right into Floops backyard: ugly a** lardbucket but thats OFF TOPIC as Juny cortes keeps walking along until he is at the front door of the TOYMAKER. Now with a knock knock knock the secret agent from the O.S.S (ORGANISATION OF SUPER SPY'S) Juny is so nervous and soon the door opens. Needless to say its the TOYMAKER: in his living room on the telavision he is playing MARIO KART 64, if I had been there I would of been poppin off.

TOYMAKER: Ah JUNY, come to discuss the buseness deal I see?

JUNY: Of course of course we would love to have you for this exclusive contract

TOYMAKER: Haha yes, I was just playing my modded N64 with netplay: how is youre GRANDPA?

Oh f**k, the TOYMAKER does not know the old man is DEAD.

JUNY: (winsing) Uh last I checked he was sleeping

Laughing the TOYMAKER guides Juny in as he looks around the place, wow the N64 is modify so that he can play games online, I am sure that would make some people mad but lucky that a REGULAR N64 is sitting right next to it. Up next is the kitchen counter with plenty of gamer foods to enjoy: DORITOS, PIZZA ROLLS, and a pesronal favorite PAPA JOHNS. For Juny its no CHICKEN BISKY but he starts chowing down right away: very unprofesional.

TOYMAKER: So what deal do you want from me

JUNY: (chewing with mouth open) Ok so the O.S.S (ORGANISATION OF SECRET SPY'S) is working on a way to send our spies to the DIGITAL WORLD to stop MR ELECTRIC.EXE: needless to say it is very hard stuff and the resercher in charge of the project puts suger in ex BOSS SPY MASHETE'S coffee on accident and wound up with his eternal organs spilling on the floor: wow I got off topic there the point is we need your help to get spies to the DIGITAL WORLD.

TOYMAKER: Ok sure how much your paying.

JUNY: How about $100

This sounds good to the TOYMAKER so he starts to sign the contract when all of a sudden

???: I'll give you $101 if you give it to me!

D*mn what are these Price is right tactics, needless to say whipping out of the pantry is LORD MINUS the HEAD SPY of the A.S.S (ACOSSICATION OF SINISTER SPYS) who is here to surely RUIN Junies plan to stop MR ELECTRIC.EXE with the help of the TOYMAKER. It seems like LINUS wants to STRIKE BACK for what happened in the last story: but how?

TOYMAKER: $101 is a better deal for me, wait what are you doing in my pantry.

LORD MINUS: Whatever you do Toymaker do NOT accept Junies deal: he is a rotten rotten person.

JUNY: The f*** are you on Linus: Toymaker this guy is the leader of the A.S.S and serves SATAN.

Now outside the sounds of bull dozers start rolling: everyone looks out the window to see a demo crew with theyre cranes and wrecking balls and crushers labeled A.S.S on each and every single 1. Needless to say a big sign planted down says NEW DENNIES COMING SOON as the demo crew gets to work: running over a family home the bull dozer gets to work. Kids scream and cry as the tractor wheels run them over: bones CRUSH and SNAP, brains ooze from the skull. Other kids run from the homes before they are killed: th*gs on the streets start picking them off 1 by 1, that is so f***ed up.

TOYMAKER: Wtf, that is evil.

LORD MINUS: So you think: but truth is our bull dozers move so slow, those kids had PLENTY of chances to leave before.

TOYMAKER: Hmmm I guess so.

LORD MINUS: Also JUNY CORTES shot MAX THE DREAMER in the streets before which is WORSE!

TOYMAKER: Wow, is that true

JUNY: I... I mean yeah sure but like...

TOYMAKER: Just goes to show that BOTH SIDES ARE BAD.

F***, how is Juny gonna get himself out of this one, he is so nervous he about sh*ts half digested CHICKEN BISKY into his tighty whiteys.

JUNY: Look the BOSS SPY told me to kill him so I had no choice.

LORD MINUS: Sounds like a weak leader, do you really want to settle for the O.S.S Mr. Toymaker and also I can give you $102 dollars if it will win you over.

Needless to say the idea of a extra Mcdonalds dollar menu item is selling over the TOYMAKER, f*** Juny thinks, he would of gone for it too cause as we know he loves those chicken biskies. Now realising he needs to find a good excuse for killing MAX THE DREAMER fast Juny spurts out without thinking about it:

JUNY: MAX THE DREAMER killed my grandpa so WERE EVEN!

A big gasp: now the TOYMAKER drops the pen to the floor and Juny realises he has f***ed this 1 up BIG TIME. Looking all around the house Juny sees the truth: pictures of TOYMAKER and JUNIES GRANDPA playing as kids, going to spy college, sharing a tender kiss and smoking in the bed: LONG LOST LOVERS split apart by time. Wow Juny had no idea his gramps was gay but he accepts him for who he is. But TOYMAKER does not accept JUNIES GRANDPA for what he is which is DEAD AS H*LL and cause of that it seems that theirs gonna be a price to pay.

TOYMAKER: Wtf, you did not tell me the truth.

LORD MINUS: Wow Juny, you are real f***ed up you know that.

TOYMAKER: You know what BOTH SIDES ARE BAD but clearly 1 is worse then the other: Its GAME OVER for you Juny!

Needless to say the TOYMAKER signs quickly the buseness deal of LORD MINUS meaning he is now A.S.S SCUM. Meaning the O.S.S is sh*t outta luck and then as a bonus the TOYMAKER cranks a nearby lever: the modded N64 with netplay is now sucking Juny into the game. Oh no, not this sh*t again: Juny remember the last time he got stuck in the video game during SPY KIDS 3D and quite frankly he got so butt hurt that time that even last weeks PROCTOLOGY EXAM doesnt compare.

Needless to say into the game he goes, what will happen to JUNY CORTES now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone on Archive whats up, its youre boy Gilby thats right, you remember me Gilby the engie the Engie god of the Tf2 lands haha, well honestly not many people call me that, its disapponting so disapointing but disappointmants are just a part of life as disapointing as it is. Any way let us touch on what happens this chapisode, Lord minus teached us a very very importent lesson so listen up, tune your ears in and listen because this is a good one. It is good to remember that both sides bad, yes thats right both sides are bad because nobody is perfect, just like Donald trump and Joe biden cause theyre both grumpy old dudes who grumpily gripe at each other and yes it really realy is that bad. My parents say they are both bad bad people but if they were force to choose they would pick Doneld trump for sure.
> 
> If only Jo Jorganson was there to help Toy maker make a good choice, but its sad so sad that she was not. I wish I could be there to give Shu a great choice, not just a great choce in me but also the great choice of teaching my new cute asain gf the ways of Libertarian, I know she would make a good Librarien I just know it.
> 
> Anyways Gilby out


	3. FRIENDS OLD AND NEW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all :) okay so 1st of all I have updates from the school life. Remember Farley the boy I used to have a crush on that my best friend Hanna STOLE from me, well as it turns out Farley is actually a huge PIECE OF SH*T who not only slaps Hanna but trys to make her do INAPROPRIATE THINGS AS WELL. Which honestly really f***ing sucks cause it goes against her cinnagog faith to do those things and also cause Farley is a TOTAL CREEP. Needless to say I can bearly FATHOM that I used to like him, I wanted to make lots of $$$ and buy a DREAM CAR to impress him but now I think he AIN'T WORTH SH*T, I HOPE HE BURNS IN H*LL WITH SATAN AND CAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY.
> 
> So yeah that all is really really bad :( good thing I hang out with good people like SHU: she is really nice and pretty and treats me RIGHT. Needless to say she would never try to slap me around or force me to do anything. Even if she did she is as skinny as a TWIG so I could of probably FOLDED HER IN HALF. Haha well I used to watch WWE with my dad before he got sent to the big house, by that I mean the hospitial of course. Before mom moved out she only watched Maury and jerry springer which MAKES SENSE since she divorces us lol. And speaking of which sometimes I wonder if my dad is even my real dad xD me and Leigh leigh are NOTHING ALIKE.
> 
> Also I asked Shu if Jo georgeson is more femaninst than JOE BIDEN: Shu says the Libartareans got INTERNAL MISOGENY (woman hating) which makes no sense cause Gilby is Libarterean and he LOVES Shu. >:( Maybe I should get Gilby and shu to do a debate to settle this once and for all: OFF TOPIC tho so enjoy the chap chap!

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 11:20 AM  
SETTING: VIDEO GAME WORLD

VOICE: Okie dokie big guy: it's-a TIME TO WAKE UP!

Needless to say Juny is tossing and turning, who the f*** is that trying to get him out of bed anyway. Wow, Juny just had a HORRIBLE dream: the TOYMAKER sucked him into the video game world and things were getting real out of hand. Now opening his eyes all of the sudden Juny GASPS: facing him is a red foreine looking guy and even better all his friends too. There were so many of them: a GREEN DINO, a BIG BROWN MONKEY, and a MUSHROOM MAN. Needless to say its the whole a** cast of MARIO KART 64 looking at Juny waving and smileing. 

JUNY: Oh wow so I really DID get sucked into the video game world!

MARIO: Thank you so much for to playing my game :)

Wow, Juny is THRILLED as he has always wanted to play Mario kart IN REAL LIFE: back when he and Carmen were still just lil kiddos roaming the crazy crazy world they loved to play MARIO KART on the tv. Now realising that hes woke up in a GOKART it is race time for the whole crew: Laketu swooping down with his go lights starts counting down. All the while the Mario characters cheer and clap for Juny and it seems for the 1st time in a long time HE FINALLY FITS IN.

JUNY: Oh wow: I hope this NEVER ends!

Now as the lights hit green the super spy feels alive for once in his life: DRIFTING and SQUEALING around the turns as the Mario crew laughs and sings and just has a good ol fun time. It is so much for Juny that he almost forgets about all that happens before: about LORD MINUS and NEW HUAREZ and the TOYMAKER and all those horrible horrible things. And as game frames clash with the ticking clock the preception of TIME ITSELF gets all f*cky for Juny. In the real world its only been 3 minutes but for Juny it feels like 5 YEARS, yes thats right 5 WHOLE F***NG YEARS that hes gone around the track with Mario and co.

JUNY: I love you Mario

Now an evil laugh noise comes from above: looking in the sky Juny sees a massive TOYMAKER waltsing in from the distance past the video game mountain tops. Needless to say he looks like a right proper VILLIAN and with a snap of his fingers he grabs the attention of JUNY CORTES who is on like his millionth lap in this f***ed up psysics defying WASTELAND.

TOYMAKER: Ahahaha, oh Juny: how do you enjoy the GAME?

JUNY: Its great, Mario and I are BESTIES FOR LIFE!

MARIO: Wahooooooooooo!

Needless to say the TOYMAKER sneers as he crackles his fingers together

TOYMAKER: Hmm interesting: now as the creator of this DIGITAL DIMENSION it is time I put matters into my own hands, now Juny remember when you watched your GRANDPA die in front of you and you did nothing to stop it.

JUNY: Huh, oh yeah I do but that was AGES ago.

TOYMAKER: Then watch and suffer Juny as I KILL YOUR NEW FRIENDS in front of youre very eyes!

Now the TOYMAKER points to Mario and his buddies as they approach a RAMP that jumps them over a ditch: now using a PROP REMOVER TOOL the ramp vanishes from sight. Needless to say the Italian fatf**k and his annoying a** goons roll into the ditch: the sounds of FIRE and CRACKING BONES as they do. So as the once happy cheers turn to DESEPRATE BEGS FOR DEATH the giant TOYMAKER in the distants smirks summening ENORMOUS MISSLES from his fingers and soon they go flying.

PEW PEW PEW

Needless to say its GAME OVER for Mario and his friends as the missles explode sending burnt fleshy giblets all over. From Yoshis body a egg flies up and hatches: BABY YOSHI now looking for his father only to find a CORPSE. D*mn and to think JUNY thought his week was rough: at least he doesnt get blown to LITERAL SMITHEREENS. Still tho Juny is BROKEN to see his good friends of 5 years all blow up into meat chunks like that so crying and begging GOD and ABEL for mersy the middle age spys heart is shattered. Looking up in the sky tho he does not see GOD or ABEL but instead the ugly sneering a** face of the TOYMAKER just yukking it up.

TOYMAKER: Huh that really sucks, now you KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

JUNY: You RAT B*STARD, you know I was CLOSE to my pee paw too.

TOYMAKER: As if you had a SHRED of remorse for Valentins death.

JUNY: Who.

TOYMAKER: ...Valentin

A few moments of awkward silence as the scent of burnt Mario wafts into Junies nostrels

TOYMAKER: You know, Valentin: YOUR GRANDPA.

JUNY: Oh

A few more moments of nothing

TOYMAKER: You didnt know youre own grandpas f***king FIRST NAME?

JUNY: Look man not all of us were IN BED with him like you!

Needless to say TOYMAKER doesnt appreciate that burn so now its Junies turn to get ROASTED: with holy video game fire brewing in the TOYMAKERS hands he aims at Juny and launches it. So as the attack comes flying closer and closer like a METEOR Juny buckles down and prepares for the worse. But then all of the sudden a FLASH OF PURPLE: someone around Junies age is blocking the attack! Needless to say Juny is SHOOK: looking over he sees who protects him and can hardly beleive his eyes. Wearing PURPLE ARMOR and carrying a huge f***ing SMG she c*cks the gun and turns to wink at Juny. Needless to say Juny is practically panting like a DOG when he sees her face: cute features and a goth haircut covering her eyes. Wow you can tell she was HARDCORE EMO just like MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE.

DEMETRA: Run Juny: we gotta get the f*** outta here!

TOYMAKER: You f*cking SL*T I put you into this world and I can TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!

Holy sh*t, it is Junies non existent girlfreind from SPY KIDS 3D Demetra who only exists in the VIDEO GAME WORLD, now FULLY GROWN and in her 40s just like fat old f*cking Juny is. Needless to say tho unlike him she is ROCKING her older years: looking like she's still in her early 30s even and best of all she got that bod now: CURVALICIOUS. Wow talk about a total HEART STOPPER, mean while the only thing thats stopping hearts about Juny are those CHICKEN BISKIES he shovels down his gullet, I give it 5 years 10 tops before a heart attack kills him.

JUNY: H-h-hey there Demetra (looking at her a**: WOW he forgot about Mario and co REAL FAST.)

DEMETRA: No time to explain Juny we gotta BOOK IT!

So grabbing Junies hand they start to run: the sex depraved and perverse JUNY CORTES gets a little stiff in the trousers area as they make a beeline for it. Needless to say the TOYMAKER is howling in rage cause Juny didnt know his grandpas first name, launching MISSLES and FIREBALLS: no dice theyre getting away, what can the TOYMAKER do now?

TOYMAKER: (scowling) Send in the TINKERTOYS. (presses button)

As JUNY and DEMETRA run for theyre lifes suddenly the ground under them rumbles like its a WRITERS CONVENTION. Now from the cracks in the ground burst tiny little robot things: its the TINKERTOYS from SPY KIDS 3D and looks like they mean business. Needless to say the BABY YOSHI still waltsing around goes up to the TINKERTOYS thinking it's his parents: BIG MISTAKE as the TOYMAKERS personal gremlins rip the baby reptile into f*cking bits: SPILLED BLOOD and GORE as a full serving size of dino nuggets flys everywhere. 

JUNY: OH F*CK WE GOTTA RUN otherwise it's GAME OVER for us!

DEMETRA: Your telling me!

How the H*LL are Juny and Demetra going to get out this mess now!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, everyone, and welcome back to Leighton's Corner. Today, I won't be updating you on the progress of my film, but instead on the progress of my career-seeking endeavors. After spending many a strenuous evening piecing together my résumé, I finally applied to that local business I was telling you about in hopes that I could snag the position of a social media manager. And, much to my delight, I was actually called in for an interview! The place is a small-scale travel agency — one of those places you can find on the outskirts of downtown — and I knew that this would be my big break. Therefore, I dressed in my Sunday best (figuratively, of course, as I'm not some sort of knuckle-dragging fairy-worshipper like the rest of the filth in this small town). My favorite leather jacket, my Ewan McGregor face mask, and my best jeans made for a winning combination! Then, after three firm knocks on the agency's front door, they invited me right in!
> 
> That's when I saw HER on her way out from her own interview. Needless to say, when I recognized her, I felt instantaneous fury rush into my veins. Remember when I told you about that no-good waitress who somehow thought The Last Jedi was good? The one I accidentally got matched with on Tinder? Well, it seems we've crossed paths again, and now, she's trying to take my f*cking job. At the time of us crossing paths, she giggled and waved hello, but I wouldn't be fooled so easily by her wily charms. So listen up, Ashlee. If you truly think The Last Jedi is a good film, then maybe you shouldn't be recording promos for this travel agency. It'd really suck if you "accidentally" added a casino subplot or a Mary Sue protagonist. I guarantee you I wouldn't be the only one to throw up.
> 
> Oh, and by the way, my interview went great. I think the travel agency owner quite liked "The Truth in the Darkness", as he couldn't bring himself to look away from it.
> 
> Hasta la vista!


	4. FORGOTTEN LOVE AND TINKERTOYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all: so today I set Shu and gilby up for a little mock debate in my backyard to see who has the best politics once and for all :) Since Leigh leigh has been busy with work interview stuff and being mad about some girl named Ashlee I had the whole place to MYSELF. So I got the place all pretty for the debate: using STOOLS as debate podiums and Leigh leighs CAMERA to film all the action it was a right proper debate. At first Shu does not want to take it seriously but after hearing Gilby start talking about Liberatrarian politics she launches right into it RIGHT AWAY. Needless to say they argue about alot of things: DRUGS, WELFARE, and MORE. Wow, who knew politics can be so scary, at least theyre still friends right haha.
> 
> After the debate was over we all ate some PAPA JOHNS before Gilbys parents come to pick him up. Then after he was gone Shu tells me some BRUTALLY HONEST FACTS about Gilby: that his politics are d*mn stupid, but that Gilby is still a good guy that can be fixed and that Shu would like to spend more time with him to TURN HIM DEMACRAT. Wow Shu, thats what I like about you, you don't give up on anybody even if they are too far gone xD 
> 
> So uuummmmmmmm after that I told Shu about the yuri I watched: she seemed suprised to hear about it but declines to watch it with me :/ but that is going in a DEPRAVED direction of personal issues for me to work out so ENJOY THE CHAP CHAP.

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 12:00 NOON  
SETTING: VIDEO GAME WORLD

Back when JUNY CORTES was a young lad he remembers all the things his parents use to tell him. Needless to say they loved theyre son and always said he would grow up to be a HANDSOME young man with GIRLS TO SPARE. And then after sifting thru all the dirt hed wind up with a real GOLD NUGGET: marrying the love of his life he would GET BUSY and give plenty of grand kids to Dad and mom both. Needless to say that was the future Junies parents wanted for him: the blessings of LOVE and FAMILY.

But what the f**k happens instead, in his early 20s Juny wasnt surrounded with GIRLS but instead CHICKEN BISKY WRAPPERS making him a right proper OBESITY CASE. Meaning no girl wants anywhere NEAR him and so the super spy can't even get a single crumb of p*ssy, no the only crumbs he got are BISKY CRUMBS in his belly button. Then Junies parents got shot gorilla style when the A.S.S raided the O.S.S head quarters so no grand kids for them. Now so many years later Juny is in his 40s too fat and worthless to ever get a girl: hows a woman supposed to bear him children when she cant even BEAR HIM. Needless to say time is RUNNING OUT for Juny if he wants to pass on his jeans and if he wastes even another year his sp*rm will go dry: EMASCULATION.

However looking her down as they run from the TINKERTOYS Juny knows that DEMETRA could be the woman for him. Sure she betrayed him in SPY KIDS 3D but he can look past it. Needless to say she only exists in the video game world but maybe they can get her out somehow. Besides if MAX THE DREAMER can ASTRO PROJECT into his grandpa and Demon pete whose to say Demetra can't do some shenanagans herself? Still tho: a hot piece of a** like Demetra would probs want NOTHING to do with Juny, the only thing hot about HIS a** is the liquid sh*t that squirts out when his chicken biskys don't go down right. Needless to say it's DISGUSTING, if you were there YOU WOULD OF BEEN REPULSIVE.

JUNY: Look out Demetra: those TINKERTOYS are getting close!

DEMETRA: Don't worry Juny: I GOT THIS.

Now in the distants the evil TOYMAKER towering above the mountains howls with laughter: not so fast you gay old man as Demetra whips out a GAMER WHIP striking the robot gremlins down in there path right then and there. Needless to say with whip crack 1 after another those noughty noughty TINKER TOYS are getting a real a** paddling: JUNY finds himself blushing right then and there, his parents wanted him to marry a nice girl but truth be told in his dream relation ship HE DOES NOT WEAR THE PANTS. Needless to say Juny would never ask his girl to get him a sandwich but he'd GLADLY ask her to MAKE HIM A SUB. G*d if only he had anything to offer her: he is a sad pathetic SACK OF LARD and he knows it d*mn well.

JUNY: (gagging for it and sweating) Wow good work Demetra...!

DEMETRA: But theres too many!

It is true: more TINKERTOYS are busting from the ground as the TOYMAKER continues to laugh, honestly it is getting kind of annoying maybe someone should remind him that his boyfriend is DEAD. Now with no choice but to run JUNY and DEMETRA book it across the video game world as fast as they can, TINKERTOYS hauling a** behind them trying to catch up. Needless to say Juny still does not pay atention to the TINKER TOYS, not when Demetra runs so gracefully: hair flowing, fertile hips swinging and other such details that BOYS and NON GENDER CONFORMING GIRLS would be happy to see up close. If I had been there I WOULD OF ENJOYED THE SHOW FOR SURE: off topic. For now Juny and demetra escape into a big abandon house as the TINKERTOYS follow.

JUNY: Run run run!

DEMETRA: (closes door, TINKERTOYS bust thru) Sh*t look out!

Wow she looks so hot when shes hot and heated: Juny almost wishes he was a TINKERTOY so he can get slapped around by her. Needless to say theres almost nothing that could turn Juny off from her now, even now still a v*rgin he wonders if NOWS HIS CHANCE. Now running deeper into the house with TINKERTOYS ready to tear theyre sh*t up Demetra looks lovingly at Juny: what the f*** is this.

DEMETRA: You know Juny your still PRETTY CUTE.

Now Juny feels himself go limp: I'm talking about HIS ARMS btw so don't be gross. Needless to say Juny is quite FAT and UGLY from many years of CHICKEN BISKYS and EXXON MOBILE COFFEE: his flabs and folds sag, his face complexion is like SAND PAPER and hes got enough HEMMEROIDS to refill the entire local blood bank. How some smoking hot BABE like Demetra would even consider to call him cute is beyond Junies comprehend: something else must be at play. Needless to say it is VERY SUS, she could have any guy on Planet earth and she wants HIM? No there has got to be a trick here: she is LEADING HIM ON so she can betray him just like she did in SPY KIDS 3D, she is the DECEIVER after all.

JUNY: Uhhhhhhhhh maybe we should just be friends

DEMETRA: What no, I know you want this.

JUNY: Naaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

DEMETRA: Sure you do: here let me give you my EMAIL ADDRESS real quick.

Junies teeth clenched but there is nothing to do but run from the still approaching TINKER TOYS. So they are busting thru the wood doors of the house with ease but wait, there is 1 room here with a IRON DOOR. It's the perfect chance for them to dip away: running thru they slam the door behind them. However the TINKERTOYS surround the door meaning they are TRAPPED inside: g*d f**king d*mn it. Now turning around to see the room awaiting them Juny gasps in horror. 

DEMETRA: Oh wow what a NICE ROOM.

In the middle of the room is a KING SIZE BED its sheets still fresh from the washer machine and ROSE PETALS scattered all about the pillows: on the nearby nightstand a BIG BOTTLE of WD40 to help grease up those moving parts. No lights here other then flickering candles, and over the way a BUBBLING HOT TUB and since they forgot to bring swimsuits it seems its for BIRTHDAY SUITS ONLY. From the rooms only window Juny sees the TOYMAKER in the distants: HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER knowing Juny really worked himself in a corner here. Now its either face the TINKERTOYS or put his v*rginity on the line here with that temptress Demetra and theres no telling how long until Junies OTHER HEAD starts doing the thinking.

DEMETRA: Wow Juny think we should cool off for a bit? (removes her gamer armor, she is now wearing only a tank top and panties)

JUNY: Uhhhh not now, theres TINKERTOYS to fight! (reaches for the door)

So the indesently dressed Demetra going over locks the door tight leaving the TINKERTOYS to howl and scream outside, then reaching over to Junies trousers she removes the belt. Juny breaking a sweat peeks out the window again: the TOYMAKER with a pair of gamer binocalars watching it all throw down, seems like the perverted old man is enjoying the show. Now trapped between a rock and a hard place Juny knows he can't save himself now, no only 1 person can: so he calls out for them.

JUNY: SKYLER HELP ME!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. It's Leighton. Sorry I haven't had a movie update in a while, but don't worry. I'll be stopping in to the abandoned high school to hang out with Hobo Joe and resume principal filmography soon enough. I've just been so busy with this applying-for-a-job drama, I haven't been able to work on my personal responsibilities. And, wow, do I have some horrible, horrible news for you. We've known for a long time that things never go my way, but this is just the icing on the sh*t cake. I've got good news and bad news...
> 
> The good news is that the travel agency hired me to be their social media manager. The bad news is that they hired Ashlee to operate their social media alongside me, too...
> 
> Needless to say, this is a disaster of enormous proportions. Not only do I have to work with one of my greatest sworn enemies, but I'll probably have to pick up all her messes, too. At the time of learning of this predicament, Ashlee offered me a formal handshake before proceeding to tell me our relationship was strictly a workplace one. I was quite offended by this whole mess and wished she would learn her place and stop patronizing me. However, I was too emotionally drained to protest, so instead of submitting a formal complaint to my boss, I went for a depression meal at iHOP. At least I could enjoy my meal in peace, knowing that Ashlee didn't work there anymore. And yes, I'm still pissed they removed the LOADED PHILLY STEAKBURGERS™ from the menu.
> 
> Hasta la vista for now...


	5. THE VOTE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, today I will tell you a FUN FACT about MASHETE: well not actually Mashete but instead the dude that plays him in the movies who is called DANNY TREJO (rhymes with pendejo, LOL.) So basically on Danny trejos contracts he says that if he plays a bad guy he has to DIE cause it teaches kids that CRIME DON'T PAY. Needless to say tho Danny trejo is not an actor in my story and Mashete is too good a character to lose so HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE. So expect more fun Mashete content in future chap chaps :)
> 
> Also I hope you enjoy the heavy influence from SHU in this chap chap cause she gave me alot of good ideas to use about the O.S.S. So basically I think that world building is real important to any story to make things seem like the REAL DEAL. Since you have got this far in my story I am sure you would agree that this story has PLENTY of good ideas: my personal favorite is JUNY, that poor f***er is always getting in trouble lol >:D
> 
> Oh and some good news: my dad might be coming home soon cause he BEAT THE CORONA and his pelvis is getting better: took him long enough. So it seems like big bro Leighton will have to move back to his room now cause he was using Mom and dads room as his personal base for awhile there: I hope Dad lets Gilby, Shu, and Hobo joe and rupert come over tho. So yeah enjoy the chap chap

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 2:00 PM  
SETTING: O.S.S CONGRESS

SHU: (I bang my gavel against the podium) Order in the Congress everyone, this is serious business here!

Needless to say its CHAOS in the planning rooms of the O.S.S (ORGANISATION OF SUPER SPY'S) as all the crazy things that happened in the past chap chaps play on the big telavision on the wall: JUNY CORTES getting sucked into the video game world, LORD MINUS signing TOYMAKER on for business deals and the NUKING of DR ROMEROES ISLAND. So that last 1 in particular is really HITTING DIFFERENT for Dr romero who screams and crys in the back of the room: YIKES. Meanwhile all around the O.S.S Congress theirs super spy reprasentatives from every corner of the building: mostly old white dudes tbh. However also here are DREAM GUY, Lavagirl and me: UGH I am so bored, if you were here you would of fell asleep for sure.

SHU: Now everyone, this is all really bad news, as we know the Dead Writers Society got away with the Cane of Abel, and on top of that our top spy Juni Cortez got sucked into the video game world. Anyway, its real bad news, but fortunately as the Boss Spy of this organization I have a plan thatll help us turn things around.

VOICE: Ay claro, your not the BOSS SPY.

SHU: I beg your pardon?

Now marching down the center isle comes MASHETE holding his trusty mashete in front of him still dripping with blood from his last kill. Needless to say he makes it to his personal chair: leathered with HUMAN SKIN and he pops a squat. Wow 1/2 the room (Shu loyalists) is shaking but the other 1/2 (Mashete loyalists) clap and apploud his arrival. Now the 1s who support Mashete start chanting BOSS SPY, BOSS SPY, BOSS SPY as he holds his arms up around him: ITS A COUP.

SHU: Youre not the fucking Boss Spy. I beat you during the election just the other day.

MASHETE: Si si or so you think: truth is I won that election MUCHO GUSTO. Meaning whatever plan you come up with will be shot down by my 1/2 of the O.S.S CONGRESS: fitting end for your career in spy politics pendejo.

SHU: Oh, please, you lost the election by a landslide. I had sizeable victories in the HR and IT departments.

MASHETE: Just wait until they recount Accounting and finance puta, your f***ed.

ME: Wow Mashete: your sick and were not recounting SH*T.

MASHETE: I am BOSS SPY so you have no choice.

SHU: No, Im the Boss Spy so YOU have no choice!

Now the O.S.S CONGRESS erupting into even more CHAOS then before, the footidge of DR ROMEROES ISLAND blowing up playing again and again and this finally over whelms the Doc making him bust out in cry. Lavagirl once again proving to be a useless character goes over to cheer him up as Shu bangs the gavel over and over: D*MN she is good at banging >:)

SHU: Anyway, lets not even bother arguing with ex-Boss-Spy Machete as he is clearly going senile from his old age and is just trying to hype up his base. Heres the plan I prepared: since our best agent Juni Cortez is stuck in the video game world, well have to put our second best agent Skyler and a few others into a video game cartridge. Then we can pass it into the Toymaker's hands and trick him into putting it in his console, therefore sending Skyler and friends into the digital world. Then we can extract Juni Cortez and maybe defeat Mr. Electric.exe along the way.

MASHETE: Que estupido, why not send them into the digital world YOURSELF you dumb f*ck.

SHU: You killed the researcher in charge of that project.

MASHETE: Si si: he put sugar in my coffee.

The Mashete loyalists boo Shu since this is a perfectly valid reason to kill someone

MASHETE: After all Mashete likes his coffee like his criminals.

SHU: Wow, more proof that the other side of the aisle is racist as all fuck.

MASHETE: Did you ASSUME I was gonna say black: your the racist here chica.

The Mashete loyalists scream and boo again as Shu trys to wave it off but NO DICE as Mashete interupts again

MASHETE: Also youre plan is so mierda: my plan is put a gun to that f***er TOYMAKERS head and cap his a**.

SHU: No way, that plan is so unempathetic, and besides, were not looking to start another war here. Also, I would like it if youd stop mansplaining to me why my plan is bad: Im perfectly capable of leading the O.S.S. as a woman.

DREAM GUY: Have we considered that maybe BOTH SIDES ARE BAD?

Less then 5 per cent of the O.S.S CONGRESS pays attention to DREAM GUY meaning he dont get a say. Needless to say tho theres NO TIME to talk about the plans anymore and it goes straight to vote on the O.S.S CONGRESS FLOOR. All 49 of the Mashete loyalists vote for his plan and then 49 of the 50 Shu loyalists vote for her plan: LAVAGIRL is too busy cheering up Dr romero so she forgets to vote. Then the 3rd party DREAM GUY knowing both sides bad thinks it over and decides shooting TOYMAKER would be better and votes for Mashetes plan: putting the final vote results at 50-49 in Mashetes favor. Needless to say this is REAL BAD cause the polls said Shu would win BY A LANDSLIDE.

LAVAGIRL: (returning to seat) Sorry Im back now, is it too late to vote.

MASHETE: Yes

SHU: This is some bullshit, youre doing voter suppression, plain and simple!

MAX: Hey everyone, cakes ready!

Now rolling in a ROLLY CART with a BIG A** CAKE on it comes Max the dreamer in the body of DEMON PETE who seems to keep the culenary skills of our demonic hero. Needless to say the cake says CONGRATS SHU FOR WINNING ANOTHER VOTE with little wax candles shaped like Shu on it: EMBARASSING. Waggling Max over I explain the vote was RIGGED and point him to a Mashete loyalist: using an Old nick neck twister the polician drops dead right then and there. Meaning the vote is now a 49-49 TIE and needless to say MASHETE IS P*SSED.

MASHETE: Recount the accounting and finances department, I WON THE ELECTION!

MASHETE LOYALIST: Your manliness their recounting right now and looks like its in SHU'S FAVOR.

MASHETE: STOP THE COUNT!

DREAM GUY: Wow, just goes to show the 2 party system is in SHAMBLES.

ME: Shut the f*** up DREAM GUY (turns to Shu and smiles) don't worry we'll sort this mess out :)

SHU: Im not sure about that, Mashete is clearly trying to have a coup so he can secure a second term. Chances are he wont be able to pull it off but hes been planning this for a long time. Its why he packed the O.S.S. Court System after all.

ME: Yeah it f***ing blows :(

SHU: Unfortunately, we've reached across the aisle for long enough, and its time we did our own dirty work. So heres what were going to do, Skyler: assemble a team, were going to follow through with my plan anyway.

ME: OH YEAH: thats METAL Shu >:)

Needless to say were getting into some real SHONKY BUSINESS now, who knows what will happen next...?

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

As the spaceship penetrated the Earth's atmosphere, an aura of flickering flames surrounded it, yet no fire could ever burn this vessel to ashes. As we drew closer and closer to the surface of the blue planet, the Nightmare Guy and I watched through the windows. Lush foliage, cerulean skies, and sapphire oceans were scattered about like Mother Nature's beauty marks. Farther away from it all, something stood that was much uglier in comparison: the headquarters of the O.S.S. The building was gaudy, shaped like the giant capital letters O.S.S. themselves. Needless to say, we chose not to get too close.

The Nightmare Guy stopped his spaceship behind a billboard, then turned to me.

"They're in there, Leighton," he said.

"Yes," I replied promptly. "So what do we do now?"

The Nightmare Guy sneered, knowing the time was nigh.

"We wait," he said, "until our chance to strike befalls us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [11.17.2020 | PRINCIPAL FILMOGRAPHY JOURNAL]  
> ====================================
> 
> I filmed alone today. I looked for Hobo Joe all over the place, but I couldn't find him anywhere. That was okay at first, though, because I had a few more scenes I needed to film of just myself, anyway. Most of these consisted of shots where the protagonist of the film cried in solitude, and getting those tears to start flowing was simple enough. All I had to do was think of how the past several years led to where I was today, and the waterworks started gushing within minutes.
> 
> Then, when I finally got to the auditorium, I found Rupert the Cat, letting out one distraught meow after another. Not too far from him lay a note that I will transcribe here:
> 
> "Dear Leighton, thanks for being such a good friend to me. Sorry to say it, but there's not much left for me in this cold, cold town anymore. I think it's time I hoofed it out of here. Before too long, I'll be back with my family after a long, long time, and I hope they'll be happy to see me. Your friend, Joseph Hibbert."
> 
> Rupert came home with me today, and I've been doing some more crying in my room, even though the camera's been turned off.
> 
> Life f*cking sucks, man...


	6. FLOOPS NASTY SECRETS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So dad came home for good the other day and BOY was he not happy about the state of the place. For 1 my daddio HATES CATS and as such he told Rupert the cat to TAKE A HIKE: however big bro Leigh leigh was not having that sh*t and told Dad THE CATS STAYING. Then when Dad said he would kick the cat Leighton promises to shatter his pelvis a 2nd time: METAL. D*mn, hopefully Dad and rupert hope to get along: honestly Dad is a useless f*cking cripple at this point so I think Rupert the cat would whip his a** easy haha :)
> 
> Oh and speaking of pets. Remember my pet anty wantys that turn out to be TERMITES. Well I think some of them got left in the house cause when Dad went to lay in his bed it went KABLAM. Then chewed up wood and termite sh*t was all over the place, needless to say those little buggers went HAULING A**. Now Dad wants to call the EXTERMINATER, wtf those guys are like the TERMINATOR but for animals :(
> 
> So yeah just a warning anty wantys: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! For everyone else tho enjoy the chap chap

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 3:00 PM  
SETTING: FLOOPS BACKYARD

FLOOP: (singing) Its a cruel cruel world, all you little boys and girls, and some MEAN NASTY PEOPLE, want to have you for theyre supper...

Wow, it seems that the wacky and wild FLOOP from the canceled telavision show FLOOPS FOOGLY'S is enjoying a day in his back yard garden. Needless to say its quite hard to consentrate when ugly a** FOOGLYS are wandering around: genetic nightmares bumpin uglies like theres no tomorrow, just not literally. Fooglys, more like FUGLIES: cause these guys are f***ing UGLY. Seems like Floop values them for more then theyre looks tho: pulling out a CHICKEN AX Floops ready to get something for late lunch. A Foogly wailing like a dying whale passes by, SCORE as Floop grapples it and places its neck on a nearby stump. Then raising up the CHICKEN AX seems like its time for the FOOD CHAIN to upgrade to the next link.

KID: Hehehe!

Now Floop scowling turns around as the Foogly spared from slaghter makes a run for it. Needless to say some little sh*t kid is tromping around Floops back yard and stomping the flowers on ALEXANDER MINIONS GRAVE: Floops long lost friend taken too soon by the scornful hand of Father time, may he rest in peace with GOD and ABEL forever. What the f***, the kid doesnt even realise what he does, dancing on those flowers like its a RAGER. Needless to say in a FIT OF RAGE Floop stomps over and snags the kid by the neck and chokes him all the while: the kid kicks and screams but its NO USE.

FLOOP: Little f***er, the YARD SALE is up front: you have no business back here!

KID: NO PLEASE!

But Floop TAKES NO PRISONERS: after all little sh*t kids who stopped watching his show force him into retirement, why should he give ANY f***s about these snot nosed brats. So rushing the overripe cr*tch fruit to his shed a strange machine sits nearby: the MACHINE from Spy kids 1 that turns normal people into FOOGLYS. Now forcing the kid into restraints the kid is helpess as the machine is activate: BOOM and just like that the kid transforms. Needless to say theres all sorts of deformings: EXTRA ARMS, INFLATED BELLY and other hall mark traits of cromosome collecting sh*tsacks.

KID: (voice is Fooglyified)

FLOOP: Serves you right, you look like a MISSED APOINTMENT at Planned f***ing parent hood. And now...

Next up in Floops act of justice: rushing the new Foogly out to the stump he is pressed against the stump. Then rising his CHICKEN AX once more Floop looks to the grave of ALEXANDER MINION and sheds a tear: his old pal would understand, as Floop knows kids only like Netflix and hulu these days and not FLOOPS FOOGLIES reruns. Therefore KIDS MUST PAY.

FLOOP: Dinners served

A swing of the ax, red rain spills across the land: now not just dinner is served but JUSTICE is too.

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 3:30 PM  
SETTING: FLOOPS YARD SALE

ME: Wow Shu look at this mess!

SHU: Oh, wow, Skyler, it looks like its some sort of yard sale. Pretty neat, but I buy all my clothes new.

Needless to say Shu is right, its a YARD SALE featuring all sorts of wacky nick nacks, gizmos and MORE: what is the crazy a** FLOOP selling here today. Let's take a look here: hmmmm alot of strange stuff indeed, ROPES and CHAINS now for sale, leather WHIPS for whipping and even 1/2 used bottles of CLOROFORM. Wow, seems like Floop is into some real kinky sh*t: wonder if hes got my favorite YURI on Blu ray here. If he has it I WOULD OF BOUGHT IT FOR SURE, after all I get tired of closing all the Try not to c*m ads when I try to watch it online: CRINGE. Off topic tho as me and Shu walk up to the front door and knock on the door

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

FLOOP: (cracking open door) Better not be more f*cking kids... oh SKYLER and SHU hello, youre just in time for our APPOINTMENT.

ME: Thanks Floopy :) whats that smell?

FLOOP: Oh just some food I prepared (reveals steaming plate of meat) here try some.

Needless to say I try a bite: YUM YUMMY, reminds me of Papa johns pepperoni.

ME: Mmmmmm what sort of meat is that?

FLOOP: ...Whats it taste like?

ME: Kinda like chicken :)

FLOOP: Correct its chicken. (turns to Shu) so your the BOSS SPY.

SHU: According to some anyway, may we come in?

FLOOP: Sure come poppa squat on my COUCH.

Needless to say we start walking in: as we pass thru the front room a display of CHILD SKELATONS is on full display but Floop pushes a button that makes them VANISH before we can see them. Now sitting on the sofa we look at Floop: d*mn he did not age well, he looks like a f*cking SERIAL KILLER. And no I'm not gonna say CEREAL KILLER like Captain crunch cause that joke is OVERUSED AS ALL SH*T. Also Fooglys are peeking in the window WHIMPERING and SCOWLING: wonder what there deal is.

FLOOP: So my next door neighbor the TOYMAKER is up to no good.

That was a given, this A.S.S SCUM is always up to no good: a nearby framed newspaper says NEIGHBOR HOOD KIDS VANISHED, weird bet the A.S.S was BEHIND THAT AS WELL.

ME: Yeah pretty much, he sucks JUNY CORTES into the video game world :(

SHU: (I pull out a game cartridge) Yes, but theres some good news. As the Boss Spy of the O.S.S., I oversaw a project whichll allow us to warp into the game world, but it requires some stealth. Basically Skyler and I will enter this cartridge, then you will trick the Toymaker into buying it. After which hell put it into his modded Nintendo 64 with netplay letting us save Juni and maybe even defeat Mr. Electric.exe.

FLOOP: Yeah sure sounds good to me

ME: ...Your agreeing that easily?

FLOOP: Yup, chap chaps almost over so lets get a move on.

Needless to say theirs NO ARGUEING with that logic: using the researchers research ME and SHU are able to go inside of the video game cart. Nice, now all we have to do is get TOYMAKER to put us in the game and were GOLDEN!

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 3:45 PM  
SETTING: FLOOPS YARD SALE AGAIN

FLOOP: (singing) Its a CRUEL CRUEL world filled with nasty boys n girls...

Now Floop is singing his wacky telavision show song out front waiting for the TOYMAKER to come and buy the video game cart. Needless to say the senile old TOYMAKER is a HUGE video game fan so he'll buy it for f***ing sure. Meanwhile from behind UGLY A** FOOGLYS gather staring down Floop with disgust: tip toeing up with the CHICKEN AX in there hands it seems their sick of being dinner: now its time the FOOGLIES got a slice of Floops famous ""chicken"" recipe. 

But wait, out of nowhere comes TOYMAKER ready to do some shopping.

FLOOP: Hey there neighbor: want a VIDEO GAME.

TOYMAKER: It wont ease the pain of VALENTINS DEATH: how much is it tho.

FLOOP: 50 percent off

Just as Floop says that the FOOGLIES swing the CHICKEN AX meaning that the only thing 50 percent off now is Floops torso, SPILLED BLOOD and GORE gushing all over as the old d*ck hits the ground DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. Needless to say the Fooglies are having a full blown FIESTA now as they conga line and devour Floops flesh: fitting end for the ratsh*t MONSTER he is. TOYMAKER already having a bad day and only wanting to mourn 1 DEAD MAN at a time shrugs.

TOYMAKER: Welp thats that I guess (pockets the game and goes)

Wow this is so cool: soon me and Shu will be GOING DIGITAL!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers, and welcome back to Leighton's Corner. Today, I have some good news and some bad news. In traditional fashion, I'll share the bad news first, as to not end this little segment on a sour note.
> 
> So, to begin, I am forced to announce that "The Truth in the Darkness 2: The Cost of the Silencer" is officially on hiatus. Truth be told, working on the movie has become incredibly difficult without more people to help me, and that's become quite the obstacle to overcome. However, on top of that, returning to the abandoned high school is... a little difficult for me to do now. Seeing that place where Joseph and I used to hang out at now devoid of life... it's stressful.
> 
> In some ways, he was my only friend.
> 
> ...In good news, though, Rupert the Cat's still got it! While the poor old cat is clearly upset that his previous master is out for the count, his new master Leighton is ready to keep the ball rolling. I've already taken him to the vet with my first paycheck from the travel agency, so no more worms or diseases for him. You can tell that Rupert's feeling better already — my father tried to swat him off the sofa, only to get his hand mauled in return. Take that, you f*cking deadbeat!
> 
> I'll tell you more about Rupert in the future, but for now, hasta la vista!


	7. RISE OF A KILLER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all and hope you are HYPED for todays chap chap of SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: LINUS STRIKES BACK. But before the story here are some updates from my personal life as always :) ok so basically cause my daddio HATES the anty wanty termites crawling around our house (cute) he calls the EXTERMINATER to finish them off: BRO WTF. Their people too, tiny tiny people that eat wood sure but if you could eat wood YOU WOULD BINGE THAT SH*T, I bet wood would taste REAL GOOD if it tasted good. But any way the EXTERMINATER blasts poisen gas all around to kill termites cause tbh they are all over the f*cking place. Meaning the house is BIO HAZARD and cannot be used.
> 
> So yeah everyone has moved out for temporary. Big bro Leighton and Rupert the cat ran off somewhere, daddio is staying in the Super 8 and as for me well Im going to Hannas house :) So yeah I have been here for a day already: ME, HANNA and even SHU are j chillin and talking girl stuff. You know how it goes haha, Shu talking about how much she hates MOSCOW MITCH and d*mn I love it when she gets fired up over it >:) Hanna and I also had some convos, so cool and we read something new together: CREEPYPASTAS. And they are so d*mn scary we nearly SH*T ourselves D:
> 
> Btw enjoy the chap chap!

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 4:00 PM  
SETTING: TOYMAKERS HOUSE

TOYMAKER: Wow I sure am excited to play this new VIDEO GAME, wouldnt you agree VALENTIN?

Needless to say the TOYMAKER walking into his house is holding the N64 CARTRIDGE he just buyed from FLOOPS YARD SALE which ended with the creepy old f*ck getting malled by his FOOGLIES. And d*mn it was crazy, if you had been there you would of thought it was METAL for sure. Anyways TOYMAKER is oogling a nearby oil painting he just made of JUNIES GRANDPA: seems like the gay old man is still gaggin for it even tho VALENTIN is LONG PAST DEAD, his corpse still rotting in the ruins of NEW HUAREZ. Now TOYMAKER gives the painting a big smooch: GROSS MUCH. Prying his chapped wrinkley lips away theyre smeared with OIL PAINT, the painting getting all f***ed up in the process. Looks more like a FOOGLY then JUNIES GRANDPA now, well at least its more accurate to Valentins DEAD ROTTING BODY.

TOYMAKER: Now lets put this game in the N64

Now walking over to his modded N64 with netplay, TOYMAKER sees his favorite game MARIO KART 64 is still in it, man he actually wants to play that instead. So looking over to his unmodded N64 TOYMAKER shoves the cartridge me and Shu are inside of into it instead: G*D F**KING D*MNIT. Since there is no interwebs connection we're not going to the DIGITAL WORLD after all: meaning that JUNY is totally f*cked and maybe IN MORE THEN 1 WAY.

TOYMAKER: Wonder what this games about anyway?

The cartridge doesnt say anything cause cartridges don't talk but it does TWITCH but just a little.

As if its HAUNTED.

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 4:05  
SETTING: ??????????

The smell of a DARK and DANK dungean as I start to come to, what the f*** is this place. Last thing I remember was getting sucked into a N64 CARTRIDGE with Shu the BOSS SPY and now Im here? So looking around me I look around, oh look, at my side is SHU the BOSS SPY also waking up. Taking a look at her I see alot of things: SHINY BROWN EYES, a CUTE LIL NOSE, and that mole on her neck just above her danger area. Rolling over I take a whiff of that hair: smells like RAZZBERRYS. Needless to say waking up next to hers a dream come true: SWOON.

ME: Hi Shu :)

SHU: (...Thats, uh, very interesting dialogue there Skyler.) Uh, hey whats up. Where the hell are we anyway, the last thing I remember was getting put into some sort of cartridge. Where is Juni Cortez? Well have to save him ASAP.

ME: I dunno where we are: looks like some sort of DUNGEAN.

VOICE: Oh its MUCH MUCH WORSE.

So hearing that creepy voice I f*cking SCREAM: sounds like the chain smoking waitresses at your local CRACKER BARELL. Anyway now looking over I see something horrible: DEAD FACE PEOPLE crawlin about on the floor, jeez what are you, 2 years old or something. Well probs not cause they got WRINKLE FACES, BLACK EYE CIRCLES and worse of all: HYPER REALESTIC BLOOD SHOT EYES. Needless to say it was a total YIKES MOMENT, looks like they need pinkeye meds. For future reference don't rub your face while your taking a sh*t you creepy f*ckers.

SHU: (I unsheathe my katana and point it at them) Stand back, monsters, as Im not afraid to attack!

VOICE: We are not youre enemies: we are VICTIMS like you cause the EVIL MASTER of this game cart has trapped us inside this experament chamber. It is horrible here: we are SO SO TIRED!

ME: Oh wow that's so awful. (looking to the wall, I see canesters with weird letters on them) Shu what is this??

SHU: (I look at it) Hmm, seems like the Cryllic alphabet, however since I am the Boss Spy I am legally required by the O.S.S. to know twelve different languages. Lets see here, looks like these are sleeping gas.

ME: Wtf: so theyre doing some sort of RUSSIAN SLEEP EXPERAMENT here?

Wow that is so confusing, but wait a sec cause out of nowhere a BANG BANG BANG comes on the dungean door. Who the f**k is that, all the DEAD FACE PEOPLE crying and screaming for mersy back away from the door. Now a slat sliding away reveals a pair of BLOOD SHOT EYES even more HYPER REALESTIC then the others. Needless to say the blood was practically DRIPPING, its so scary I almost sh*t my pants right there, hope Shu doesn't smell it haha. Also the stranger has a PRE CUT SMILE on his face, tacky much.

DEAD FACE PEOPLE: Please please master, we need SLEEP!

Coming up next is a EVIL VOICE which I remember, in fact I heard it just 30 MINUTES AGO.

FLOOP THE KILLER: Yes yes, you FOOLS have been torture by me for long enough, you want to go to BEDDY BYE?

DEAD FACE PEOPLE: Please sir please!

ME: What the f***: I thought Floop was f***ing DEAD. Also WHY IS HE EVIL.

DEAD FACE PEOPLE: Floop was always evil, TAKE A LOOK!

Now pulling out newspaper clippings and more I see the truth of it. Look at that headline, saying things like 5 KIDS DISAPPEAR FROM TOWN, FLOOPS FOOGLIES SHUT DOWN. Wow, so Floop was a CHILD KILLER all along: suddenly realising that Floop eats Fooglys for funsies I realise he tricked me into eating KIDDIE FLESH last chap chap. So yeah that is F***ING GROSS, EVEN WORSE THEN MS C*NTSLEYS COOKING BACK WHEN SHE STILL HAD A JOB. Needless to say I want to HURL right there but having just sh*rted in front of Shu I think I should wait until the 3rd date for anything more then that.

SHU: (...Huh.) Um, wow Sky, it looks like Floop was a fucking creep the whole time, we shouldve known.

ME: Your telling me! And when he died last chap chap he starts HAUNTING the game cart!

Wow, we are stuck inside a HAUNTED CARTRIDGE now: those creepypastas are the WORST, I rate them 2 STARS every time! Now the sneering FLOOP THE KILLER cranks a lever causing SLEEPING GAS to feed into the dungean: DEAD FACE PEOPLE craving the sweet embrace of sleep slurp up the gas and start droppin like rhimes on a Snoop dog album. Not wanting beddy bye time me and Shu hold our breaths: are we SH*T OUTTA LUCK?

FLOOP THE KILLER: (cheesy grins with pre cut smile) GO TO SLEEP!

ME: Nah (summens a DREAM RPG LAUNCHER) now stand back Shu its BUSTIN TIME!

SHU: Oh, uh, ok!

Now all the DEAD FACE PEOPLE not wanting me to interupt the SLEEPING GAS leap in front of the door to block my RPG: tough sh*t for them as I fire and best of all a crit rocket comes out. Needless to say the creepy f*cks in the dungean helpless explode into GIBLETS and MORE as the exploding happens like a right proper pinata except filled with ORGANS instead of CANDY. Now FLOOP THE KILLER is blinded by smoke, d*mn that sucks for him but at least we dont have to look at his ugly a** face.

FLOOP THE KILLER: (snarling) GET BACK HERE YOU F*CKERS!

ME: I dont think so :) (holding Shus hand) let's book it!

SHU: Uh huh for sure!

So yeah: me and Shu are making a run for it but how the h*ll will we get out of this HAUNTED CARTRIDGE anyway...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Leighton's Corner. Unfortunately, an exterminator is currently screwing up the family home with massive amounts of poisonous termite-culling gas, and as such, Rupert and I had to hole up somewhere else. Fortunately, my boss here at the travel agency was okay with me bringing my furry friend over in his kennel while I did my work for the day. He even let Rupert out so he could lounge around in the office. I think he quite enjoyed it! So while I spliced together promo videos and made image ads for the business's social media, the cat just chilled on the nearby sofa. How quaint!
> 
> Of course, Ashlee was also here, completing her half of the work. Though she was doing a lackluster job as usual, she took interest in Rupert, and I was jovial to humor her cat-loving tendencies by allowing her to scratch his chin and ears. Then, at the end of the day, she invited me and Rupert to her home for a bite to eat, which I reluctantly accepted. During dinner, I told her Rupert's story: about how Joseph was gone, how my movie was cancelled, and how I was now without friends.
> 
> Things all ended with me crying on the front porch with Ashlee awkwardly trying to hug my shoulders. She even proposed that we enjoyed a casual bout of sex to help lighten the mood, but I declined, as the prospect of carnal union did nothing to ease my emotional suffering. Even so, Rupert and I are spending the night on her sofa. So, uh, that's that.
> 
> Hasta la vista...


	8. H*LLISH ENCOUNTERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, so more news from the wacky wacky world of hanging out at Hannas house :) ok so long story short we are off from school for Thanksgiving which means no dealing with all the school kids: F*CK YEAH. Needless to say Hannas parents are j*ws who go to cinnagog so I dont know if they do Thanksgiving but we have PLENTY of good food to eat anyway. Its a different type of good from Gilbys house who eats PAPA JOHNS and CAPTAIN CRUNCH, Hannas parents are good at cooking and make SPICY BAKED CHICKEN and no that doesnt mean it smokes p*t xD However bacon and sausage here is a HUGE NO NO cause if the Hebrew folk eat it GOD and ABEL will banish them from heaven FOR SURE.
> 
> So yeah: lots of yum yum food and other activity's. Also Shu comes over from time to time, she seems to really really really like writing dialog in the story which is HYPE. However 1 time she leaves her phone out: needless to say I take a peak inside and SCORE no password either. Ummmm Shu is kind of a weirdo tho, she has like 100 tabs with google searches like "debate tips" "how to make libertareans democrat" and "how to know if someone likes you". OH MY G*D guys I think she likes me :))
> 
> MORE UPDATES ON THAT IN THE FUTURE: for now ENJOY THE CHAP CHAP!

DATE: FEBUARY 17 202X  
TIME: THURSDAY 5:00 PM  
SETTING: A.S.S HQ

So the chap chap begins with LORD MINUS sitting at his desk crying and weeping, hanging above him is a tapestry showing Cain standing above the BLOODY CORPSE OF ABEL: the day the A.S.S (ACOSSICATION OF SINISTER SPYS) also known as the ORDER OF CAIN falls from the grace of GOD. Meaning Lord minus can only pray to Satan now but wait why the f*** is he crying any way. Oh right, Linus trying to use the DAGGER OF CAIN is plungeing it into the ground while his tears splash on a pic of his beloved TEA MAN. The fires roaring and the pentagam flashing but it seems h*ll wont open. Suddenly a roaring voice

SATAN: Linus I am sorry but you weared out the DAGGER OF CAIN, it needs to recharge for a 100 years before any more revives

LORD MINUS: No satan please, ITS NOT FAIR!

SATAN: Sorry bro: you wasted all your revives on the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY.

LORD MINUS: ...

SATAN: Why the f*** did you do that anyway, those guys were decent side characters AT BEST.

Some awkward silence after that

LORD MINUS: Look could you at least put TEA MAN on the phone.

SATAN: Yeah sure man

So a few moments pass and then suddenly a British austrailan sounding voice comes from the depths of h*ll

TEA MAN: Top of the mornin to ya you bl**dy piker.

LORD MINUS: Oh TEA MAN (breaks down into tears) how I missed you ol friend, how is it in H*LL.

TEA MAN: Pretty gnarly mate, me and COFFEE MAN make drinks and meals for SATAN and CAIN in H*LLS KITCHEN cause ever since DEMON PETE left theres a huge opening to fill. Anyway how goes your plan to destroy the dreams of EVERY KID IN THE WORLD.

LORD MINUS: Oh its gone WONDERFULY: as of now 1/2 of all the family homes in the world are destroyed meaning soon all the kids in the world will roam the streets. From which point crimenals and th*gs will pick them off and I'll have EVERYTHING I ever want...

TEA MAN: Spot on mate: btw I forgive you for reviving the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY instead of me but you should know those guys are some real SHONKY BUSINESS. If I were you I would of kept a close watch on them for sure. Now Satan and cain are ringing for tea n crumpets now but remember Lord minus: I will always love you

Now the fishure to h*ll closes leaving Lord minus crying in a pool of his own tears. Then rolling over he starts sucking his thumb hard enough to slurp the finger nail off: EMASCULATION. Needless to say the patetic master stays there for awhile until he is enterrupted by the sound of a DREAM VORTEX opening: spitting out of the vortex is SHARKMAN who has respawned after a bolder crushed his head in NEW HUAREZ in the last story. 

SHARKMAN: Woah what the h*ll, I thought I died. Wait Linus why are you crying

LORD MINUS: (snarling) Cause my beloved TEA MAN is dead but never mind that: what you should know Sharkman is as long as my dream journal survives YOU CANNOT DIE.

SHARKMAN: Wait why.

LORD MINUS: Well you see Sharkman since i DREAM ADOPTED you that means your page was added to my DREAM JOURNAL. (whips out a book that says THE HIDDEN LAND BENEATH NEW HUAREZ)

SHARKMAN: Thats the book you plagarized from the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY.

LORD MINUS: Oh my b (whips out his personal DREAM JOURNAL instead) Now the only thing that can defeat you now is if your page gets destroyed: same goes for MR ELECTRIC.EXE. So keep that secret and Skyler and her dumb f*ck friends can NEVER DEFEAT US.

SHARKMAN: Oh cool, wait why dont you just dream a copy of TEA MAN so he can't die.

LORD MINUS: That wouldnt work

SHARKMAN: Aight

Suddenly the sound of dump trucks backing up and a huge a** crash: the f*** is that.

SHARKMAN: The f*** is that, are they replacing the family homes across the street with a PERKINS or something.

LORD MINUS: Nah that was last week, those kids were loud as sh*t when the bulldozers ran them over.

SHARKMAN: Ah

Another BOOM and the whole A.S.S HQ shakes

LORD MINUS: The f*ck, Sharkman would you please excuse me.

Now as Lord minus tromps downstairs he finds himself in the A.S.S LOBBY: a place filled with DARK PAINTED WALLS, CHANDALERS, and FOUNTAINS WITH STATUES OF CAIN. But wait, somethings out of place here: the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY guiding the demoletions crew along as they start tearing f*cking s**t up. Now what the f**k is this: DESTROYING the whole lobby and replacing the statues with new 1s: big sculpures of STEPHEN KING, J K ROLLING, STEPHANIE MYER, and the worst and most evil of them all DR SUESS. Oh and the real 1s are here too SNEERING WITH EVIL, also holding the CANE OF ABEL which Lord minus told them to get so me and my friends can't have it.

LORD MINUS: Oh there you are, good work on getting the CANE OF ABEL: also what the f*** are you doing to my lobby.

All the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY turns to Lord minus looking like their having a right proper tantrem, their p*ssed. Then Dr suess walking up plants a finger on the chest of Lord minus and grins in his face: teeth SHARP and EVIL. Needless to say Lord minus isnt called Barthalomew but he still sh*ts a full load of oobleck right into his trousers.

DR SUESS: Based on the smell you just sh*t your pants: you've led long enough so give WRITERS a chance!

Suddenly its clear as day what the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY wants, to take over the A.S.S from the INSIDE. All 4 of the undead writers using the CANE OF ABEL summon a beam of light and blast Lord minus in the belly: KABOOM as he skids and rolls next to a toppled Cain statue. Lord minus cant take it any more, 1st Tea man is gone forever and now this.

LORD MINUS: This is absolutely, positively, undeniably NOT FAIR.

STEPHEN KING: Lay off the adverbs (stomps Linuses gut making him vomit) your prose is even scarier then my BOOKS you p*ssy.

J K ROLLING: Lol, SO TRUE: if Lord minus was any more of a girl I'd be making hate speech about her on my twitter. Facts are tho us writers are more fit to rule then you: me and my colleages have wrote 100s of books, how many have YOU wrote Linus.

LORD MINUS: Uhhhhhh I wrote this 1 (pulls out THE HIDDEN LAND BENEATH NEW HUAREZ by LORD MINUS)

STEPHANIE MYER: What the f*** is this sh*t. (flips thru the book and scoughs) Wait, this is MY WRITING, I remember stealing this from some rando on Archive of our own. Lord minus you f*cking hack, this is PLAGARISED!

LORD MINUS: WHAT NO!

DR SUESS: To steal someones writing is nasty for sure: tell me Ms myers should we give him what for?

STEPHANIE MYER: Yes, cmon DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY lets get him!

And as the undead writers close in on Lord minus a tear sheds from his face: seems like he really f***ed up with the DAGGER OF CAIN, reviving these d*mn TRAITERS instead of people who really care like TEA MAN and h*ll even COFFEE MAN. Now Lord minus wishes he was the 1 burning in h*ll, well maybe HE WILL once the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY is done curb stomping his a**.

And as the feet start stomping Linuses eyelids get as heavy as a copy of the DEATHLY HOLLOWS: NIGHT NIGHT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, everyone! Welcome back to Leighton's Corner. Some good news from my side of the world, but basically, we're off work from the travel agency for a while. Since the family home is still the stomping grounds of that worthless exterminator, I've been camping out at Ashlee's place on her request. I figured this would be a safe place for Rupert to stay. He really likes Ashlee, and constantly rubs her legs as if begging for her attention; fair enough, my friend, though it's best to not be too clingy. You wouldn't want to come off as desperate, would you?
> 
> Anyways, Ashlee introduced me to one of her hobbies that wasn't movie-watching. It's something related to baking... I wonder if you can guess what it is? (Particularly One That's Brilliant, Radiant, Or Wonderful Needs It Especially, See? One that is "initially" perceptive might be able to guess what I'm talking about!) In short, Ashlee and I went on quite the "trip", and while we were "out and about", we watched The Last Jedi on the Disney+ streaming service. I must say... seeing it from a different perspective, it wasn't quite as bad. Subversive, and at times, even clever!
> 
> But maybe I just need more time to "digest" Ashlee's baking, so for now, hasta la vista!


	9. WOMAN EMPOWERMENT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I will be doing WRITER QUESTIONS in case you wanted to know some ANSWERS! Are these user submitted, NO they are not but that is ok cause I think I hit PLENTY of the important bases!
> 
> 1\. Do you like to read or do you just write
> 
> Good question :) so basically I mostly read my friends fics including CONSOLE-TASTIC CATASTROPHE, BACK TO THE FUTURE IIII, BACK TO THE FUTURE 5 and MERCS PARADISE: BLOOD ON HANSENS HANDS. However after recent chap chaps I start reading works of esteemed authors for fun such as STEPHEN KING, J K ROLLING, STEPHANIE MYER AND DR SEUSS. Currently my fav books are Cujo and Hop on pop.
> 
> 2\. How do you collab with Leighton Gilby and Shu
> 
> Ok so basically I save chap chaps as drafts then let them log in and finish em up. Or I invite them over and have them write live :) just depends on the day haha
> 
> 3\. Hows your Thanksgiving
> 
> Pretty good: I am at Hannas house for 1 more day and we are j chillin. Today we are eating TURKEY and VEGGIES and more, I even helped cook by basting the turkey and making the crabberries and even slicing the cocumbers. Truth be told tho it was HARD cause someone put the cocumbers in the freezer: THATS COLD.
> 
> 4\. When does the chap chap start
> 
> Now >:)

DATE: FEBUARY 18 202X  
TIME: FRIDAY 7:00 AM  
SETTING: O.S.S DORMITORYS

So as the sun raised up that morning its a real pretty morning for the spy's working in there offices at O.S.S: ORGANISATION OF SUPER SPY'S. However beyond that is also the private bed rooms for other characters who dont go with me on my adventure: LAVAGIRL stiring from her sleep as her alarm clock goes off, hey who said dreams couldnt sleep too. Now the 1st things on Lavagirls minds are her 2 BIGGEST REGRETS: the 1st being not winning the LAVA LAMP during LORD MINUSES DAGGERFEST and the 2nd being she let that d*****bag SHARKMAN slap her around in the days of old. Wow she must of been CRAZY to let a man treat her like that, if it happened again today she'd WHIP THEYRE A** FOR SURE.

LAVAGIRL: Sharkmans dead and gone anyway: the world not ready for ME!

So Lavagirl air punches the air, in the process accadentally hitting the bedpost. Needless to say it HURTS LIKE A F***ER so Lavagirl rushing to the bathroom does her morning rotine and Im not talking about PIT CHECK cause thats nasty as h*ll. No Lavagirl takes a right proper bath with SOAP, SHAMPOO, and CONDICIONER: then after some personal care she turns off the faucit and heads to the O.S.S KITCHEN where the talent and scary DEMON PETE who is astro projected by MAX THE DREAMER cooks breaksfast for every 1 in attendants. Nearby CARMEN CORTES who is ex cartell picks at some eggs n bacon: seems like she don't like them at all, now reaching for her cr*ck dispenser she trys to add flavor. Not so fast you sports bra rockin piece of work: Demon pete reaching over stops the cr*ck meaning the eggs stay SOBER.

MAX: Woah woah woah, you said your DONE with the cr*ck.

CARMEN: Yeah yeah I know but its so hard to move on ya feel

MAX: I getchu, for awhile there I was mad at your bro JUNY CORTES but I moved on from it fortunitely

CARMEN: How you do it?

MAX: I killed his grandpa haha

CARMEN: Oh right, wait isn't that my grandpa too?

MAX: Oh hey look its LAVAGIRL, how you doing LAVAGIRL?

Now Lavagirl says nothing as she starts going thru the breaksfest line, Max the dreamer sitting there acting awkward, hey if you were there YOU WOULD OF DONE THE SAME. So now Max plops all the food he makes that morning on her tray: PEACHES N CREAM, BUTTER TOAST, and BACON N EGGS. Needless to say tho Lavagirl says no to the bacon cause its not her groove, hey thats fine with Demon pete, he is just glad Juny is gone for now cause he can make something other then CHICKEN BISKY for once. No personal beef tho, there on equal terms after JUNIES GRANDPA died after all.

CARMEN: (claps hand on Lavagirls sholder) Something ya wanna talk about girl friend.

LAVAGIRL: What, I'm not youre girlfriend.

CARMEN: Girl friend, not girlfriend theres a difference.

LAVAGIRL: Oh right, well anyway tbh my ex boyfriend SHARKMAN does alot of horrible things to me: MANHANDLING, SLAPPING and NAME CALLING. Now I am a weak and crying woman who can not do good things, h*ll even Skyler leaves me out of her and Shus d*mn mission.

MAX: Woah woah woah easy on the language!

CARMEN: Oh cool youre jets Max and get me some salt for these eggs. (claps both hands on Lavagirls sholders even harder) Now LAVAGIRL, thing is back in NEW HUAREZ I run the CARTELL all by myself. There I did sh*t thats bada** as all f***, including capping DARE officers, smoking BONGS and more. Now if I can do all that sh*t so can you: EMPOWERMENT. Be proud of your self for who you are, a WOMAN who takes up non gender conforming roles in the power structure.

LAVAGIRL: Wow that is so true, also look at Shu, not only does everyone think she is cute but she is a bada** BOSS SPY as well.

MASHETE: (other side of the cafateria) Ay claro pendejo, that is simplamente UNTRUE!

CARMEN: Shut the f*** up Mashete. (Max passes Carmen the salt and she pours it on her eggs) Now Lavagirl if you want to move on from your past here is what you should do: pack your bags, hit the gym and go personally beat SHARKMAN'S A** cause he revived btw. (waits for Max to turn around then starts sprenkling cr*ck on her eggs instead) after all why let a man boss you around.

MAX: Wow so inspiring, almost makes me want to ASTRO PROJECT into a woman myself!

CARMEN: As if any woman wants you inside of them puta madre

Now Lavagirl and carmen laugh so hard as MAX THE DREAMER is too stunned for words: EMASCULATION. Needless to say a lesson well learned from LAVAGIRL, if her own creator can be put in his place like that then SHARKMAN will be a slice of pie. So the plans set: she will get ready, head out and DESTROY her ex boyfriend so that she only has to regret that LAVA LAMP every morning for now on.

So yay for Lavagirl, she learns what it REALLY means to be woman today :)

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

From the front doors of the O.S.S. burst a young woman, her form slender and her hair pink. Then, from her palms burst jets of lava that propelled her into the air — and, unbeknownst to her, our spaceship skirted past her by a mere inch. Fortunately, thanks to the Nightmare Guy's camouflaging technology, none of the commoners prowling the streets were able to see our approach. Not that we would be hidden for much longer now. Our time to strike was upon us.

"Are you prepared, Leighton?" The Nightmare Guy wandered towards a nearby console, where two Dark Pistols charged themselves with his black-purple energies. Then, removing them from their charging ports, he handed one to me and holstered the other. I took the firearm into my hands and admired its craftsmanship. A sleek barrel, a trigger like a crescent moon, and engravings of the nightmares of a thousand different cultures. Bad dreams upon bad dreams.

Today, we would birth a new one.

"I'm ready," I said to the Nightmare Guy. "Let us depart, and find some truth in this darkness."

He nodded, parking the spaceship next to the front doors of the O.S.S. Then, with a shriek of steam, the hydraulic doors to the spaceship opened, meaning it was time for our attack. Quickly, we bolted into the organization, where a lush front lobby greeted us at once. With crystal-clear fountains, statues of the false prophet Abel, and suit-wearing spies all about, it was like a clean canvas to be desecrated by our work.

We opened fire — and then, the first screams. We aimed not to kill. Only to intimidate. Needless to say, our goal was accomplished in full, as spies scattered in all directions to hide in the myriad closets all around us. Together, the Nightmare Guy and I locked them in, then pushed bulky filing cabinets in front of each door. They were trapped now.

"Let us continue," the Nightmare Guy said, and I nodded. Up the stairs we went — higher, higher, and higher into the O.S.S., lunging and firing at whoever we could find. Eventually, we burst into a hallway, our Dark Pistols blowing bullets all throughout the corridors. Drywall flew. Spies ran like their lives depended on it. We grew closer to the top.

"How much longer?" I asked the Nightmare Guy.

But someone else responded instead of my accomplice, his blade pressed against my neck.

"Ay, claro, mi amigo." His voice was gravelly, coarse. I swiveled around, only to find myself face-to-face with Machete Cortez, the once-leader of this esteemed organization. "It seems to me you have come too far. Allow me to kill you at once. Prepara por muerto."

I smirked, and the Nightmare Guy did the same.

"We don't think so," we both said together.

Snarling, Machete pounced in for the kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, and welcome to Leighton's Corner. Today, Ashlee and I decided to make a Thanksgiving meal of sorts, so we've been working hard on cooking that. To be honest, this is the first year I've actually done any holiday cooking. Before, I'd just let my moronic parents handle it, or have some leftover Papa John's pizza. This year, though? We had a veritable feast. Honey-glazed ham, buttered rolls, green beans, and more... who knew Ashlee was such a great cook? For dessert, we're even having some special cookies, with an extra "thankful" ingredient added in. Score!
> 
> There's some important business I'm handling before chowing down on those, though. I've been going through my camera recently and collecting all the footage I made at the high school. Why? Well, Ashlee asked me during dinner today if there was something — or someone — I was thankful for. In an instant, I knew the answer. My friend, Joseph Hibbert, who has sadly gone to a better place. What precious memories we had. I still have video files of him on my camera of all the fun times and discussions we had. I'd like to make a montage of it or something.
> 
> Something to help me remember.
> 
> Oh, and there's also a video of Skyler's friends Shu and Gilbert having a political debate on here for some reason. Blech... anyway, hasta la vista for now. Happy Thanksgiving!


	10. HEART POUNDING PANIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all and welcome back to a episode of SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: LINUS STRIKES BACK written special in my house which is now EXTERMINATER FREE. but some bad news as all the termite anty wanty's got the buseness end of the toxic gas spewing stick. Needless to say those cute little buggers got HOLOCOSTED like the j*ws did, I heard them talk about it at cinnagog and now I am really really sad. Btw I go to cinnagog so much with Hanna that I think I could be a real life j*w and I wouldnt have to asterix it out anymore. However I hear rumors to become j*w you must get something cut DOWN THERE: I sure hope not cause theres not much hair at all. ;(
> 
> Thats enough about that tho, for my 1st day at the house I invited Shu over to write and we are having a fun fun time. So basically we ate PAPA JOHNS again and we also went to the MOVIES earlier: the nice man who owns the movies is named Mr sanders and he knows Shus dad. I think Shu likes him alot cause he reminders her of Bernie sanders :) ok so something CRAZY is gonna happen in todays chap chap, lets see what Shu thinks, WISH ME LUCK.

DATE: FEBUARY 18 202X  
TIME: FRIDAY 9:30 AM  
SETTING: VIDEO GAME WORLD

JUNY: Blblblrblrlblrblrlbrlbrbr--

Wow, why is top secret agent JUNY CORTES speaking in gibberish, go on guess. Nope its not cause he is having a STROKE from all the CHICKEN BISKY GREASE in his vains but actually cause hes underwater a SPY SNORKLE jammed right up his nose. Needless to say its very hot down here in the hot tub water but it is the only place he can hide from DEMETRA THE DECIEVER now. So basically when she laid in bed for a second she FALLS ASLEEP: giving Juny perfect chance to hide in hot tub. However since he forgets to bring swim trunks he has no choice but to hop in NUDE: needless to say NOT SOMETHING YOU WANNA SEE. Unless your Demetra of course so if she figures out Juny is in the tub its GAME OVER for him.

JUNY: Blrlrlrlrlblblblrrlbl--

Now sitting on the bed Demetra yawning and waking up wakes up and stands on the floor. Still wearing nothing but a tank top and panties: SCANDELOUS. Also all the TINKERTOYS clawing and scretching at the door outside they want in real real bad. Now Demetra wakes up feeling moody and looks around for Juny right away, where the f*** has he gone, she needs him right now to fulfill a 30 year long craving. Demetra looking all around: hes not UNDER THE BED, not IN THE NIGHTSTAND and not IN THE CORNER, so where else could he be. Suddenly a whisling noise: Demetra looking out the window sees the TOYMAKER standing in the horizen pointing at the hot tub. Now she sees the snorkle: BAD NEWS BEARS for Juny, get those cloths on quick.

DEMETRA: Oh Juny if you wanted to soak why didn't you say so?

Now Juny realising hes f***ed this 1 up BIG TIME scrambles to get out the tub: no dice as Demetra chucks his cloths in the trash can meaning they can no longer be used. Then quickly she dis robes her own cloths meaning she is baring it all to see. Needless to say what a sight: for the sake of artistic tho I leave it to your imagining. Then she SWAN DIVES into the pool and its a perfect 10

KASPLOOSH

2 heads appearing above the water, DEMETRA laughing and JUNY screaming for mersy: outside the TINKERTOYS are ready to rip n tear like they did to POOR BABY YOSHI but that almost seems perferable to Juny at this point. Uh oh, now Demetra floating closer: Juny wants to leave tub but if he do then she sees his d*ck, NOT GOOD. Outside TOYMAKER is busting a gut laughing: how much longer till Junies forced to BUST A N*T.

DEMETRA: Isn't this nice Juny :) (floats forward, her t*t goes into Junies hand)

Now Juny screams in terror cause even tho ME and SHU are trapped in a creepypasta game in the N64 next door this is the REAL HORROR for him.

JUNY: HEEEELLLPPPPPPP

=============SCENE CHANGE=============

DATE: DITTO ABOVE  
TIME: DITTO ABOVE  
SETTING: HAUNTED CARTRIDGE

ME: Hey Shu: do you hear someone SCREAMING.

SHU: Uh, well, I couldnt tell you, but were about to be screaming if Floop the Killer catches us!

So yeah basically ME and SHU are still running from the evil FLOOP THE KILLER who has his CHICKEN AX out and is ready for the kill. Last thing we want is to become DINNER for the cannabal and child eating FLOOP: besides were teenagers not kids, BIG DIFFERENCE. Now here in the evil haunted cartridge it is like the Slender woods with smog and sh*t all around, we can't see for f***ing anything. Needless to say we are helpless to stop what happens next: TRAP DOORS under our feet pop open and we fall and fall and fall until finally we land into cushy red seats: wait this is actually kinda nice.

ME: Where the h*ll are we now.

SHU: Hmmm, let me take a look here. (I look all around) Wait, there are other seats as well...

Wow so Shu is 100 per cent right: all around us DEAD FACE PEOPLE sit in theyre recliner seats watching a right proper MOVIE playing in front of us, but wait the movie is not yet start. Now all of the sudden FLOOP THE KILLERS voice comes on the intercom, uh oh he is the last guy we wanted to hear, I would of perferred Mr Sanders the guy who runs the local movies haha. Wait the chairs just cuffed me and Shu in, f*** we are trapped.

FLOOP THE KILLER: Nice try SKYLER and SHU, but young kids like you--

ME: TEENAGERS!

FLOOP THE KILLER: Shut the f*** up, you fell into my trap like the f*cking kid you are. Now you are subject to a showing of FLOOPS FOOGLIES the show that greedy worthless children force me to CANCEL. But theres a TWIST: its a LOST EPISODE so now you know your in for a bad time!

Now as Floops LOST EPISODE starts playing we know were in for a bad time, uh oh these lost episodes are never good and if you watch the whole thing to the end some thing bad happens for sure, like we will probs die or something and I WOULD KNOW just read the Creepypasta wiki. Anyway a WALK CYCLE of Floop appears on the screen and the audiance shreeks in horror and pain: ugh shut the f*** up it literally just started. Now Floops walking cycle starting to corrupt: uh oh we better think something up and FAST.

ME: Shu we gotta get out of here

SHU: We sure do Sky, I dont wanna die. 

ME: But if we don't get out I have to tell you something

SHU: (I pull out my katana and start sawing the cuffs) Whats that Skyler, you can tell me anything.

ME: Well uh you know, remember when I ask you to watch that YURI with me

SHU: (I keep sawing but raise an eyebrow) Oh yeah, you wanted to watch it ironically or something, right? Because itd be funny?

ME: Well you know that doesnt automatically make something funny but uh

I pause for a second

ME: Look Shu: reason I showed it was because I kinda LIKE you: like LIKE LIKE you.

Now my heart is pumping really fast, not just cause telling this to Shu made me REALLY REALLY NERVOUS but cause Floops walk cycle is going even more corrupt, now he is looking SUICIDAL and looks like the artist was on cr*ck when he got drawed. Meaning the haunted LOST EPISODE is close to making our heart explodes: thats how it works btw. G*d I am so nervous, normally I would run off to sh*t in this situacion but I am cuffed down right now so no running this time.

SHU: (Wait, so this is how youre telling me?)

ME: (Yeah I guess so :( hope thats okay)

SHU: Im... Im sorry Sky, I dont even like girls.

ME: Ah f*ck.

SHU: (To be honest, its Gilbert that I really like...)

ME: Wait so you like DREAM GUY?

SHU: (...Is this happening in story or not?) Uh yeah I guess? 

ME: D*mn Shu, I just wanted to make you happy Im sorry if I made you uncomfy.

SHU: (Yeah... we can still be friends, though!)

Needless to say this is a HUGE DISAPOINT but unlike last time I dont want to be mad about it: after all Shu is a good person and I still want her to be HAPPY. Wait, what if I make her HAPPY by getting her with the RIGHT MAN: maybe Shu and her crush will make a great couple and its my job to link em up :)

ME: I know what I gotta do!

SHU: (Oh?) Uh yes Skyler, we have to break out of here!

Oh right: the LOST EPISODE of FLOOPS FOOGLIES is almost done and then all our hearts will explode. Now cutting us loose and making us free Shu and me BOOK IT for the movie theater exit. Just in time too as the walk cycle ends, the cartoon Floop cackling and blowing his cartoon brains out with cartoon gun: SPILLED BLOOD and GORE and just like that all the DEAD FACE PEOPLE in the audiance have heart attacks and sh*t there pants in horror. Sucks for them I just got my heart broke in a different way, DEAL WITH IT.

FLOOP THE KILLER: CURSE YOU SKYLER AND SHU!

SHU: I hope youre okay Skyler...

ME: Sometimes we just gotta move on, like RIGHT NOW so F*CKING RUN!

So we did :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Leighton's Corner. I know I haven't been commentating on the actual story content recently, but I have been keeping up anyhow, believe it or not. In fact, I just now caught up with what happened between Skyler and Shu, and... wow. I can't believe my younger sister just confessed to her little girlfriend in the middle of the story. Sure, she got rejected, but still... goes to show how easily she conflates reality and fiction. At this point, there's no point in differentiating between Fiction!Skyler and Reality!Skyler. They simply overlap far, far too much!
> 
> Was I able to get all that out without being censored? I sure hope so. Skyler's been a bit more relaxed on nixing out my sentences these past months, and I've been ever so grateful for that. We do have to share the same house, after all. Though, to be honest, I wasn't sure if Ashlee was going to let me go home or not. Before I headed out with Rupert, she sat me down on her sofa and told me about how her father left her when she was five... sounds like she's got issues. Don't worry, Ashlee — I've got worthless parents myself! No need to be so clingy!
> 
> Still, she was insistent on me staying. I struck a deal with her and told her I'd return if she cooked up some more of those brownies with the "good goods" in them. I'll be bringing over a bottle of hard cider to share with her sometime later this week, so look forward to that!
> 
> Hasta la vista!


	11. RULE OF THE WRITERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so how come nobody told me Robert rodriggez is making another movie? Thats right: HE IS and it is called We can be heros and whats more it has SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL in it! But heres the twist, there adults now: what the f*** Rodriggez, did you copy my SHARKMAN idea? And before you say anything: I had ideas for this story ready YEARS AHEAD OF TIME. So basically when ever I have good story ideas I write them in my real life DREAM JOURNAL which does not have cool powers like in the movie but hey: A GIRL CAN DREAM :) After all you have to have dreams if you want to be a happy good person. Now my big bro Leigh leigh says dreams are UNREALESTIC and SET YOU UP FOR FAILURE: this explains why he is miserable and sad all of the time, because he only has NIGHTMARES instead of DREAMS. That sucks for him tbh, maybe we should swap some time.
> 
> The new movie We can be heroes comes out on New years day of 2021 which is hopefully a GOOD START for the next year. Needless to say I have plans already, including getting GILBY and SHU to start going on dates cause they like each other so much. Weird thing tho, will they really make a good couple: they like eachother sure but otherwise have NOTHING in common. Hmm, oh well: only 1 way to know for sure >:)
> 
> Also something CRAZY happened at lunch today, Farley came to our table and started talking sh*t and making threats to Hanna again: DUDE F*** OFF ALREADY. Well actually he has f****ed off to the local URGENT CARE cause our friend Lucas who is usually a b*tch got out of his seat and jumped Farleys stupid a**: SPILLED BLOOD AND GORE as the fists go flying. Ha, take that Farley, freckle face f*ckwad: YOU WERE ALWAYS UGLY ON THE INSIDE. However Lucas went to the principles office and maybe got himself expelled, d*mn it :(
> 
> Anyway that is enough about my wild life: enjoy the chap chap!

DATE: FEBUARY 18 202X  
TIME: FRIDAY 12:00 NOON  
SETTING: A.S.S HQ

LORD MINUS: No please help me: when I get down from here I'm gonna STRIKE BACK at you for sure!

Now what sticky situacion has the evil Linus got himself into this time, thats right he dangles from the sealing of the A.S.S (ACOSSICATION OF SINISTER SPY'S) from a bungey cord with nothing but his personel DREAM JOURNAL and a WRITING PEN: f***ed up treatment but at least he's a bad guy. However the nasty folks giving Linus torture nearby are also bad guys: the fearsome DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY laughing and drinking coffee and in Stephen kings case even snorting cr*ck, great will that sh*t ever stop showing up in my story: PROBS NOT. 

SHARKMAN: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelpppp!

Also behind them all is a giant WOOD CHIPPER, and Sharkman falls inside and screams as the machine spews bloody giblets all over. All of the sudden a DREAM VORTEX popping open: Sharkman respawning and falling right back into the chipper again hes in his own personal h*ll. Needless to say LORD MINUS can only watch n cry as his servent dies at a rate of 20 deaths per second: METAL but not if your Sharkman, Lord minus almost considers destroying Sharkmans page in his DREAM JOURNAL to spare him from this suffering but knowing Sharkman is too useful to lose, he don't do it. D*mn Sharky, talk about eating a METAPHORICLE TURD SANDWICH: GOD and ABEL sh*t in your dinner once again.

DR SUESS: When the writers showed up you were quite overwhelmed: now your our b*tch who works on our films!

Wait, what the f*ck is going on here: all around them are CAMERA CREWS, MOVIE PROPS, and SET EXTRAS: wow looks like something big bro Leigh leigh would of liked. Needless to say the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY is filming a right proper movie as they sit around in there director chairs, it seems now under the rule of the evil authors the A.S.S is no longer the ACOSSICATION OF SINISTER SPYS but instead the AUTHORS SANCTUARY OF SORROWS, seems like writers rule here and spies are good for nothing. D*mn, Lord minus almost wishes the O.S.S could come save him but they dont know the cordinents of the base. They used to have the cordinents but MR ELECTRIC.EXE destroyed the files, see the 1st chap chap of SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: A DREAMS RECKONING for more info on that. OFF TOPIC: my point being that Lord minus is f***ed big time, have fun being Dr suesses b*tch.

STEPHEN KING: (snorting another line of cr*ck) Hnnnngghhhh, now Lord minus will you please summen the dog.

Lord minus sighing with no choose whips out his DREAM JOURNAL: then drawing a picture of Cujo the evil rabbid Saint barnard from the novel of the same name CUJO he has turned the dog into a dream. Then using DREAM POWERS the dog appears out of nowhere: HOWLING, SNAPPING, and FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. Looks like Crest tooth paste, keeps those perly whites as white as can be and even the camera crew zooms in for a closer look. Ever since Linus becomes there MOVIE PRODUCER they dont even need to use CGI, nope these affects are 100 PER CENT PRACTICAL and I bet Leighton would of GUSHED LIKE YELLOWSTONE if he were here to see it. Meanwhile Sharkman squeals like a p*ssy as he gets blended into RED MEAT CHUNKS for like the 100th time, his blood splattering all over Cujoes face: wow now he looks like the real thing.

STEPHANIE MYER: Oh oh, and VAMPIRES please add the VAMPIRES!

Linus with a frown summens DREAM VAMPIRES that screech and flap and lick the blood of Cujoes face

STEPHANIE MYER: And WEREWOLFS, please we gotta have WEREWOLFS!

Linus also does that, great now theirs f*cking werewolfs too sniffing Cujoes butt: its dog for hello I guess.

STEPHANIE MYER: Ok now make the vampiers and werewolfs DO the DIRTY: INSTANT BESTSELLER.

LORD MINUS: F*ck no: real writers don't sit around all day writing sh*t you know.

STEPHANIE MYER: Please

LORD MINUS: Hard pass

J K ROLLING: Oh Stephie, we can always just retcon the vampire-werewolf sex into the movie on TWITTER after release.

STEPHANIE MYER: Oooohhh right right, good idea

Now LORD MINUS is on the brink of losing it: needless to say he's got 1/2 a mind to jump into that WOOD CHIPPER with Sharkman just to end this, too bad this BUNGEY CORD has got him locked in place dangling from the sealing. Now thinking to himself, the A.S.S location is a hidden secret from the O.S.S, but what if they leave the A.S.S, then maybe the O.S.S will be able to find him and save him. Makes sense LORD MINUS thinks: but how can he make the A.S.S too dangerous to stay? Now looking to CUJO, the VAMPIRES, and the WEREWOLFS, Lord minus has a BIG IDEA: scribbling notes in his DREAM JOURNAL all of the monsters start to fight to the f*cking death. VAMPIRES sucking blood from WEREWOLFS necks: WEREWOLFS ripping the legs off VAMPIRES: CUJO running at them both and forceing them to hide in a nearby car. The DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY boos and tells the camera crew to stop filming: DR SUESS now furious busts up to his feet.

DR SUESS: We cant film a movie if LORD MINUS is crass, lets warp somewhere else and go beat his a**!

Now Dr suess rising the CANE OF ABEL gets a portal ready for telaporting: CUJO runs up thinking that the undead writer wants to play fetch only for Suess to tell the dog to get f*cked. Wow, Cujoes angry about that: lashing forward and ripping off Suesses ZOMBIE LEG and running away. Now the whole DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY is p*ssed on Dr suesses behalf and as such will vent there frustrations on LORD MINUS, thats rough buddy. Warping into a empty field it looks like its beat down time: STEPHEN KING, JK ROLLING, STEPHANIE MYERS and DR SUESS pull out giant fountian pens cause the PEN is mightier then the SWORD. Seems like there getting ready to make some edits to Linuses behavier. Just as the beatdown is about to start a harsh wind blows thru making Linus shiver: talk about a ROUGH DRAFT.

J K ROLLING: Wait we can't beat him up.

DR: SUESS: Why.

J K ROLLING: We forgot something, something MAGICAL

Now waving the CANE OF ABEL another portal appears: then J K ROLLING pushes the WOOD CHIPPER and SHARKMAN into the empty field, at this point his SCREAMS OF PAIN AND AGENY helps them consentrate on they're work. Now with giblets flying and screaming all over its go time. The fountain pens start pounding down, LORD MINUS shreeking for mersy cause he knows the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY will beat him to a inch of his life and then DO IT AGAIN.

LORD MINUS: END MY SUFFERING

Tough sh*t for him as STEPHEN KING hobbles Linus meaning his legs are broke, talk about MISERY. Now all hope is lost for Linus, but wait what is that in the sky: looks like a girl with PINK HAIR and LAVA POWERS. Seems like she is looking for something but what, now looking down she sees the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY going to town and flys over. Needless to say its LAVAGIRL who was looking for SHARKMAN for revenge: seems like to get to him she'll have to go thru the DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY 1st.

LAVAGIRL; Stop right there writers!

The DEAD WRITERS SOCIETY stepping away from Linus, they see Lavagirl and growl

DR SUESS: Some lava themed sl*t has challenged our might: get out those pens, its time for GOOD NIGHT!

Then like that its GO TIME for real this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! Leighton here, and welcome back to Leighton's Corner. I noticed recently that Skyler did a "Meet-the-Author" segment before one of her chapters, and the formula was so enticing, that I couldn't help but try out one of my own! So, let's learn more about me. I hope you're prepared!
> 
> 1\. Do you like to read, or do you just write?
> 
> A good question. I used to read a lot more than I currently do, mostly during my middle school days. My favorite books were the works of Rick Riordan, who famously penned the "Percy Jackson" series, in which the protagonist turns out to be the son of the Greek god of the oceans. Not only were these books action-packed and full of laughs, but they didn't treat the audience like they were idiots, either. Unfortunately, I eventually outgrew this series as I aged and came to realize that musings about gods — Greek, Abrahamic, or otherwise — could be perceived as rather immature. That's when I turned to film instead!
> 
> 2\. How do you collaborate with your sister?
> 
> Good question. Most of the time, I do a quick read-over of her content and provide any feedback I deem as useful. I don't really help with grammar, sentence structure, or stylistic corrections, though. The reason for that is that it'd simply be too much work. I hope that Skyler continues looking up to me as an example of how her writing might evolve in the future, though! In addition to all of that, I've started writing my own portion of the story, as you've noticed. Where's all that going, you ask...? We'll see.
> 
> 3\. Will you ever write an independent piece?
> 
> Potentially...? There's plenty on my plate right now, but I have entertained the notions of novelizing "The Truth in the Darkness" and even my on-hiatus sequel "The Truth in the Darkness 2: The Cost of the Silencer". The question is, though, I don't know if they'd be entertaining as written prose. Something that's a masterpiece on the screen can be tough to translate to the page, after all. How does one describe a Dutch angle in writing? Or convey a shift in viewing perspective? All easy work for a camera, but it just doesn't function on paper!
> 
> That's all for now, so, hasta la vista!


	12. MASHETE'S DIRTY TRICKS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone and from the Gross household (ME, LEIGHTON, RUPERT THE CAT, and my dad) I give you a warm and welcoming HAPPY HOLIDAYS and MERRY XMAS greetings! Needless to say this h*ll year is almost over at long last meaning we can put the sh*tshow of 2020 behind us: NOBODY WILL MISS YOU. So yeah now I am just enjoying time off from school :) writing has been slow for me and my friends except for Gilby, but that is ok cause we get to HANG OUT and do some J CHILLIN in the meantime.
> 
> Some quick recaps:  
> 1\. I am still trying to get Gilby and shu to date. Shu told me that their that political differances might make them have "bad chemistry" which makes no sense to me cause we took our chemistry exams LAST WEEK and as such don't have to worry about it any more.  
> 2\. Leighton is always going to Ashlees house to smoke and eat p*t and he doesnt even try to hide it now. However he tells me that they are still JUST FRIENDS: what the f*** bro she is clearly into you, I mean that p*t isn't cheap XD  
> 3\. Lucas is expelled for life for beating Farleys a** so no more school for him :(
> 
> Sorry for the long wait without chap chaps but now that we're back in buseness please enjoy the chap chap! We are trying something new this time so just know that [S] means that I am the writer and [L] means big bro Leigh leigh is the writer. Got it, good :)

DATE: FEBUARY 18 202X  
TIME: FRIDAY 12:30 PM  
SETTING: O.S.S HQ

[S]Ok so basically it has been a reaaall long day for Mashete the previous BOSS SPY already, or the current BOSS SPY depending on who you ask, needless to say its kinda confusing. Wow, most of the time Mashete needs to kill somebody its quick and simple: some b*tch pendejo puts SUGAR in his COFFEE, stab him right then and there, and if blood gets in the coffee WHO CARES cause its already ruined. But now that he is hunting down LEIGHTON and NIGHTMARE GUY in the O.S.S (ORGANISATION OF SUPER SPY'S) head quarters he is really feeling all tired, d*mn maybe he should of had that sugar coffee after all. 

All of the sudden Mashete sees Leigh leigh and NIGHTMARE GUY book it down a hallway: game time.

MASHETE: Ay claro pendejo its time you see why they say MASHETE KILLS. (whips out huge f***ing mashete: needless to say its WAY BIGGER then the box office for SPY KIDS 4, NONCANON TRASH.) Its because Uncle mashete the true BOSS SPY loves killing, now es tiempo para matar un bitch, come and get some!

[L]I could hear the sounds of Mexican rambling somewhere behind us in those long, dreary corridors, and that alone was enough to make a chill go rolling up my spine. I double-checked to ensure that my accomplice, the Nightmare Guy, was still running alongside me; sure enough, he was. I should've known he would not abandon me on a mission this important. A mission to uncover the truth of reality to those who did not understand it. A mission to reveal the secrets he'd promised me were hidden here.

"The scroll's at the penthouse of this godforsaken building, right, Nightmare Guy?" I asked questioningly.

"So say the old prophecies," he replied to me in turn. "The prophecies of..."

He was soon interrupted by the sounds of gunshots. Looking behind us, we saw that the fearsome Machete was stomping closer, a smoking handgun wrapped within his fingers. Though his intent was vicious, his face was stained with sadness, his eyes even now glistening with tears. What was this? The expression of a man who had lost something, and fought his hardest to pretend he hadn't?

"Old man," I said, "you know you don't have to do this."

Machete howled with rage, then remembered the photograph he kept in his pocket. His brother, his sister-in-law, and all the other members of his family he'd lost the day the A.S.S. raided this headquarters. How he hated to pull the trigger of his gun. How he hated to d*mn other lives into the eternal darkness. And how, despite all of that, he was forced to do it anyway.

[S]MASHETE: Ay claro pendejo, little b*tches like you are as good as dogsh**! (fires 15 shots 1 after another) now be good little boys and hold still as I fill you with f****ing LEAD: if you are good you can even become Mashetes new WALL MOUNTINGS right next to all the other p*ssy cowards I killed.

Now Mashete not so easily falling for the tricks of big bro Leigh leigh and NIGHTMARE GUY laughs as he pulls out his trusty blade: his MASHETE where he gets the name MASHETE from, as he stomps closer he grabs NIGHTMARE GUY by his sholders and spins him around. Now the freckle face loser gulps with bigness as he finds him self face to face with an ugly mug not even GOD and ABEL could love: Mashete grins and readys for the kill.

MASHETE: Heres a real BAD DREAM for you to stew over f**k face!

Needless to say Mashete goes ham with the INTESTENAL FINISHER: with a clean slice of the mashete NIGHTMARE GUYS guts are leaking from his tummy like candy out of a pinata. Then ripping out the intestins Mashete wraps them around his BIG, FAT FOREARM and yoinks NIGHTMARE GUY to the ground:

KERBLAM

MASHETE: Whats on your mind pendejo? (jumps on NIGHTMARE GUYS head, skull crunching) oh wait ITS ME!

[L]The violence was so sudden, so grotesque, that I hadn't had any time to react in full. But there, in plain sight, was the results of Machete's psychotic convulsions: my friend, the Nightmare Guy, now nothing more than a puddle of blood and viscera on the ground. I could hardly react; my hands landed on either side of my head, and I let out a chilling, ear-piercing scream. That was enough to shake Machete out of his demented state. When he saw what he had done, he, too, began to weep.

"What... What have I done!?" The old man staggered away, his eyes locked upon the bloodied corpse. "No... No, I told myself I would never stoop to this level of carnage again. But, every time, my broken mind... it urges me to kill... it forces me to lash out and kill others, even when it doesn't make rational sense!"

I felt sorry for the man, and I felt like I could understand his rage, but he was a dangerous threat to society, and as such, I could not stand idly by and allow him to slaughter any longer. Slowly, I approached him, putting his neck within a firm and inescapable headlock. Now, the supposed leader of this organization was nothing more than a bumbling, elderly fool who was helpless to do anything but weep.

"You can be fixed," I said to him. "You can still be good."

[S]Big bro Leigh leighs breathing going up and down Mashetes neck: gross, smells like HARD CIDER and those weird brownies that his lady friend makes. Smirking and grinning as he keeps fake crying, he gets ready the mashete again: then getting out of the headlock with EASE the UNDEFEATEBLE MASHETE strikes big bro down with 1 hit. SLISH SLASH SLASH, as Leighton falls to the ground with cut open knee caps there is something that needs to be made clear: Mashete does not cry or mourn, he f*cks and he kills and needless to say he never ever loses a fight, except for Chapter 31 of SPY KIDS x SHARKBOY: A DREAMS RECKONING but the plot demanded it so do not worry about it too much.

MASHETE: You f***ed up big time little chico. (rises mashete) Any last words muchacho.

D*mn, Leighton is just sitting there crying: save it for real life dude.

MASHETE: Si si then, when you get to h*ll tell SATAN and CAIN I said hello!

[L]I continued my distraction of crocodile tears and false pathetic behavior for long enough to give me the time I needed. For as Machete raised his weapon over his head for the lethal blow, a Dream Vortex swirled into existence right behind me. What a fool that old man was — trapped by his own pride, he'd forgotten the basic rules of how Dream Entities worked. As long as the Nightmare Guy was dream adopted by me, then he would be immortal, provided his page was not destroyed. And now, here came my spiritual son, rising from the ashes like the phoenix of myth.

"You really squandered your chance there, Machete," I said. "Now, you shall never be fixed."

And as the Nightmare Guy reached forward and squeezed the trigger of his Dark Pistol, it indeed was too late for Machete.

The sound of a gunshot, and the splatter of brains against the nearby wall.

[S]So while that all happened, on the top floor of the O.S.S (ORGANISATION OF SUPER SPY'S) sat someone in a chair, the chair leathered with HUMAN SKIN, talk about overkill. The person sitting in the chair laughed as he watched thru a camera: SPILLED BLOOD AND GORE all over the hallway in the video, but it had a weird shine to it, almost as if made of light. Now as Leighton and NIGHTMARE GUY left the area, the real MASHETE disables the holagrams: meaning they were fighting a FAKE ALL ALONG.

MASHETE: Try as hard as you want amigos: your never getting to the TOP FLOOR as long as I can help it...

Now Mashete laughs without control like that Mexican guy in the meme as the scene fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, everyone! Welcome back to Leighton's Corner. Today, I attempted a more direct collaboration with my sister as I progress my plotline, and to be honest, I'm not sure if the two of us were on the same page there. As usual, I tried to add a touch of nuance and subtlety to her otherwise ham-fisted material, and I felt like those efforts were not returned in full. Oh, well. You can't win every battle, I suppose. It will be something we can continue to work on in future chapters, and maybe in due time, Skyler will realize what the readers really want to see! So feel free to pipe up in the comments below whose material you thought was more high-quality. Mine, or Skyler's? Of course, it's not a contest. I'm merely curious, that's all. So let's keep things civil! Heh heh...
> 
> Also, from mine to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I won't bore you with any heavy-handed and blatantly false religious prattling about the Christmas season, so instead, I'll recount a December memory of mine from my earlier years. Back in those days, I used to believe in Santa Claus, an enigmatic figure that my father and mother insisted was real, someone that apparently watched my every move and judged my every action. I remember when Santa had brought me a PlayStation 2, and how I'd refused to eat the Christmas chicken later that day because it was slightly pink in the center, and how my father had smashed the PlayStation 2 with a rubber mallet after I'd cried and screamed. Of course, Santa was never real, and he was never judging my actions. And, in turn, neither was God. So, let this tale be of some inspiration to you: you're free to do as you want, without worrying about some invisible threat ready to punish you for it. Because as it turns out, the people who are eager to punish you are the ones who hate you. Even if they're your parents.
> 
> With my father now a worthless clod, and my mother ingesting drugs much harder than Ashlee's brownies at my aunt's house, it's up to me to give Skyler the Christmas she deserves. I hope she enjoys her present tomorrow!
> 
> For now, hasta la vista!


End file.
